Friday's QOTD

The Church recruited people who had been starched and ironed before they were washed.

--John Wesley
(p.s. yes, I know he's not Catholic, but the Methodist reformer. It's still funny.)

A Crummy Church Sign for our friends in the Northeast US

"Summer is God's way of saying He loves us!"
submitted by new contributor Sonny Huisman
--And February is His way of saying "It's strictly platonic".

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Ah, I miss Crummy Church Signs. And here's to a better March!

(The above may be found with many other good ones here.)

Friday's QOTD

It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.

--Pope John XXIII

A New Twist on Lent 2010: Mandated Donut, Heat, Missalette Fasting

Chicago, IL: In light of the penitential spirit of the Lenten season, as well as a record breaking deficit from the collection plate, Fr. Aaron Gibraltar of All Saints Parish announced a change in practice for the parish: no donut fellowship.

"We're going to get together and talk as friends in Christ Jesus, and there will be no donuts. No coffee either. And you will like it. Or offer it up," intoned Fr. Aaron from the pulpit.

It was the first of many "mandated fasting" initiatives for the parish. A letter was sent out Monday to current parishioners that the heat was going to be turned off in the church starting immediately, with a recommendation to bundle up accordingly. Additionally, the missalettes the church provides for worshippers will not be re-ordered to save money. The current missalettes were burned for warmth in the pastor's office Monday morning.

"On the up side," wrote Fr. Aaron, "those missalettes rose like incense before the Lord, inspiring spontaneous prayer to live through this financially strapped Lent. So we indeed are participating in the traditional Fasting, Prayer, and Almsgiving of the universal Church. Well, the first two, anyway."

Parishioners were non-plussed. "But I had already chosen chocolate," said 29 year old Jason Richman. "I like heat. Donuts, too." Another parishioner was bemoaning the loss of the missalette. "I'm really attached to the funky art and what the heck are we going to do, sing 'One Bread One Body' from memory every week?"

A newly discalced Fr. Aaron, burning his shoes to grill dinner, could not be reached for comment.

--IC

Friday's QOTD

When the stomach is full, it is easy to speak of fasting.
--St. Jerome

Truth Is Stranger #109: The Vatican's Rocking Out Suggestions

Indeed. My theory is that L'Osservatore Romano is just trying to see if we're awake out there.

But...some classic choices, I must say. Instead of the Dark Night of the Soul, we have the Dark Side of the Moon....

Big HT to John at The Zeray Gazette.

10 Ways in Which the 2010 Winter Olympics is Like Ash Wednesday

That is, 10 ways beyond the obvious fact that the 2010 Olympic logo looks like a multi-colored cross.

1. It starts with a fire. Fires produce ash!


2. Canada has always struck me as a good place to do penance.


3. You can sing "Mountain of God" going up the ski lift.


4. When you're an athlete, you don't get to eat what you want. You give it up, right? Get it?


5. ...All the potential in downhill skiing to craft metaphors reflecting about your slide from the summit with God!


6. ...not to mention the edifying mention and fear of "the Fall" in the figure skating competitions.


7. "Today is a very appropriate time...." Just do it, now. The race is today.


8. History matters. You didn't get to today out of nowhere; it's been a journey. Remember that.


9. Kinda slushy up in Vancouver, like your life.


10. The agony of defeat...video-captured and examined.

One way in which the Winter Olympics is NOT like Ash Wednesday:

1. When you repent and trust in God, you always get the gold.

--IC

p.s. be sure to vote in the poll at left: which Olympic sport is most like Lent?

Friday's QOTD

Gray hair is God's graffiti.
--Bill Cosby

The funniest post I've seen in a while

...a caption contest of sorts at The Crescat. Tim wins!

Sure Beats "Lord, Who Throughout These Forty Days"

What do you get when you combine Ash Wednesday (coming up!) and classic The Police goodness?



I applaud this crazy man.

Friday's QOTD

"Why do people in church seem like cheerful, brainless tourists on a packaged
tour of the Absolute? … Does anyone have the foggiest idea what sort of power we
blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? The
churches are children playing on the floor with their chemistry sets, mixing up
a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning. It is madness to wear ladies’ straw
hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers
should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews.
For the sleeping god may wake someday and take offense, or the waking god may
draw us to where we can never return.”

—Annie Dillard, Teaching a Stone to Talk: Expeditions and Encounters (New York: Harper & Row, 1982), pp. 40-41.

College Students Say The Darndest Things

My amusement for the day:

I finished teaching an exploration of the 10 Plagues sequence from Exodus, and the plagues were listed on the board (water to blood, frogs, gnats, flies, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, death of the firstborn).

A student from next class walks in, looks at board: "So, we're talking about the state of the American economy today?"

(ba da bump. I think we're at boils.)

Interestingly, a relevant Dilbert comic.

Friday's QOTD

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
--Annie Dillard

Kids Say The Darndest Things, Again

Part of a series.

The IC family went to an ecumenical prayer service for life on this near-anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision. The service was at our Cathedral in town; the presider, our somewhat new local bishop.

Afterward, this being Minnesota, talk turned to the upcoming Vikings game tonight. My oldest son, chic #1--who has never met our bishop--strode up to him and asked if he was a Vikings fan or a Saints fan--you know, given he's a bishop and all....

[ba da boom, groan].

Our bishop laughed and said he was a Detroit fan, but today, he's rooting for the Vikes.

Didn't help, I'm afraid--they lost 31-28. [Deep sigh.] Did New Orleans really deserve this? I mean, they have Mardi gras coming up. We have...watching curling in the Winter Olympics. However, it does seem that chic #1 has inherited the IC genes. He can take over the blog in my old age. Or a couple of years, at this rate.