Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Ironic Catholic is born, watchdogs concerned

In the home of an underpaid friend of Holy Mother Church, a blog was born. Being the granola loving Catholic-Worker pacifist type, the blog was born peacefully in a large water tub without drugs. Those attendants stood around saying novenas to St. Jude and sharing about repurposed organic tomato soup from the co-op dumpster. The mother took a big swig of wine and pushed the little one out. The baby's name is I.C.

The Catholic Defense League reacted strongly to the birth announcement of I.C., stating that although the culture of life should be the first value of society, this blog is further evidence of the relativism. "Objective truth is not served by this 'I'm a blogger, you're a blogger' plethora of perspectives," they argued. "These are indeed Christ's 'signs of the times,' and we're reading them, folks. We plan a boycott. Stay tuned."

Catholics for a Free Choice sputtered and said that "...while it is Ironic Catholic's choice to blog humorous and obviously fake stories, clearly humor is the last thing we need when the first issue is to engage in illogical theological arguments that irritate the Bishops and abandon the Church's call to help the vulnerable." They then went off to ponder if creating a new name for themselves would help. The front runner was "Catholics for Living Contradictions."

The National Catholic Reporter ran a short birth announcement of I.C., noting that Rome was not pleased, a majority of American Catholics supported I.C., and ended the piece on a note of despair. Oh wait, that was the formula of every other article in the issue. I.C.'s mom just gave birth and is confused with the sleep deprivation of it all.

I.C., although young, responded to the comments with characteristic graciousness. "Thank you for the attention, but I come to bring humor, not a sword," she said. "Peace with be you. Mom, who said that again?"

I.C. is very young but growing every day. She asks for your patience and prayers.

--I.C.'s mom

1 comment:

Ideas for the Whole Community said...

Greetings. Is there a way to contact you offline? I'd like to see if I can get you to write a humor column for a magazine I edit.

Nick Wagner