Sunday, April 02, 2006

Forget Mars and Venus: Men are Ontological Teleologists, Women are Existential Phenomenologists

At noon today, theologian and philosopher Jonah Trey will be offering a lecture at Albertus Magnus Auditorium at RBCU on the his new self-help book, Men are Ontological Teleologists, Women are Existential Phenomenologists: The Theological Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex. "It sets out to prove that John Gray's book (Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus) is theologically unsophisticated," argues Trey. "I suspected that mature religious sensibilities would prefer basing their understanding of gendered humanity on something with more meat than planet metaphors. Now that this book has cracked the top 500,000 on the Amazon seller's list, I think I am proven right."

Trey's argument is that men understand life in terms of being (ontology) and goals (teleology), while women understand it more in terms of existing relationships (existentialism and phenomenology). His book hints at the provocative nature of his proposed lecture, with chapter titles such as "Thomas Aquinas, the Third Down and GOAL Theologian: or, Why Your Wife Hates Thomism," and "Kierkegaard: Why He Treated His Betrothed Like Dirt and Still Women Love Him," and finally "So One's an Ontologist and Another an Existentialist: Can This Marraige Be Saved?"

Anticipation is running high on the college campus at which Trey will speak this afternoon. "I've got to say, this sounds weightier than 'what would Jesus do', and I'm looking forward to it," said sophomore Hannah Arons. "My Catholic boyfriend and I are working through some issues, and we think this will help. If it doesn't, we may have to drop our philosophy majors for something like general business."



The Ironic Catholic said...

RBCU=Really Big Catholic University


Thomas said...

RBCU=Really Brilliant Comedic Understanding.


Harrison said...

Best article yet! (Cries out the Philosopher and Theologian trapped inside at at secular university).


Meg Q said...

"Now that this book has cracked the top 500,000 on the Amazon seller's list . . . "


Great blog!

Though, I'm not joking, last night my husband and I were having a, um, "discussion" and at one point one of us (not me) actually said that he sees things ontologically while I see things phenomonologically, whereupon the other (not my husband) said that perhaps we both see things "ontologically" -- so see, just when you think you can make this stuff up! :^) Only makes this that much funnier for me, tho.

(Am I the only person who thinks Kierkegaard's biggest problem was that he wasn't Catholic?)

The Ironic Catholic said...

Meg--this is my life too! My husband (Jovial Catholic) and I have had the same general argument! We're nuts!

And I feel the same way about Kierkagaard--did you know some scholars think he may have considered becoming catholic, although that was unheard of in Denmark (plus he'd have to renounce citizenship?). But he didn't. He had a real love/hate relationship with the Danish Lutheran Church....

Derek Rotty said...

I.C., thanks for adding humor to topics that can become weighty.

I'll pass this post along to my wife. Maybe she can get a laugh out of it, too.

You will have a link at my blog.