Spurred by the late Cardinal Bernardin's Common Ground Initiative, members of RBCU's Opus Dei and Call to Action groups tried to bury the hatchet in a warm, cheesy slice of pizza at the annual "Give Pizza Chance." No bloodshed was immediately reported, although full details remain sketchy at our deadline.
"The idea was to get the groups together in a social setting, but it was harder than I could have imagined," said Sr. Margaret Johnson, head of Campus Ministry. "They agreed to pizza easily enough, but the devil is in the details, isn't it?"
Angelo Corelli, a member of Opus Dei, said "It was typical at first. We came after vespers, and when they straggle in late from some 'let's save the world' protest, the first thing they want to do is vote on the toppings. I said, 'who says this dinner is a democracy? or that you're in charge of it?' We had already put it our order for classic pizzas--hand-tossed with pepperoni--and we didn't see any need to change the order. It's excellent as is, you know?"
Jennifer Smith, a member of Call to Action, added, "But we have a lot of people to please here, and besides, it's good to sample new pizza. Would you believe I've never tried pineapple pizza until last week? But it's great stuff. I have an entirely different understanding of pizza since that experience, and I think I need to be true to myself in sharing that."
Corelli continued, "Then some of them wanted to go into the kitchen, for the love of Pete, and help make the pizzas with the staff. That was weird."
Smith: "And I thought it was a lost cause when it came time to say grace. I think Sr. Margaret wanted us to pray for mutual understanding and clarification of thought, but they wanted to do a rosary while we wanted some spontaneous prayer for a living wage for the kitchen staff."
Corelli: "So we stuck with the traditional 'Bless us, O Lord...' table prayer. Even then, you could tell they were switching out the 'thy's with 'your's."
Smith added, "After we got the pizzas, they wanted to tip 15% exactly. We wanted to round up, but they said no go."
Corelli: "Then they wanted to vote on the tip. It was craziness."
Was anything learned by the end of the meal? asked this reporter.
Corelli: "I have to say, once we got past the difference, they did act surprisingly...human."
Smith: "Actually, we'll fess up. Angelo and I agreed to go out Saturday night. So I guess that's progress for the universal Church."
Corelli: "And I'll try the pineapple pizza--but we're ordering from Domino's."
and thanks to the Curt Jester for the "Give Pizza Chance" line.