Monday, July 10, 2006

Computer Habits and Religion Quiz Spurs Spiritual Self-Understanding, Dialogue

St. Francis Parish has created a new spiritual formation and companionship program called "Compute Your Religion." The first workshop retreat meets July 21-23 in the parish hall from 1-5pm each day.

"We decided to take a chance on this," said Fr. Albert Foyer, "since Bible studies and Rosary prayer groups didn't seem to kickstart the younger generation. Technology was a common link and an entrance into what we most appreciate in life, as well as how we interact in the world."

The workshop, inspired by Umberto Eco and blogging friends of the Ironic Catholic, still has openings available. Registrants are encouraged to take the quiz below and bring it to the first meeting to see which Christian tradition really bears influence in your life. Call 555-5555 for more information.

"Compute Your Religion" Quiz

Please choose one answer to each question below. The first two questions provide theological commentary to help to discern the difference between your answer options; the last three, you're on your own.

1. When you turn on your computer, which operating system appears?

A. Apple IMac/MacIntosh. (All who embrace it will be rewarded through constant visible signs of grace.)
B. Microsoft Windows. (Often initially cheaper until it keeps breaking down, can look like Apple but the base system is different and prone to viruses and crashing, and appealing elements are mixed with less appealing in impossible-to-avoid bundles.)
C. Still using DOS. ( AKA "the narrow way". Many are called; few are chosen.)
D. There's an On button? (There are still a few Luddites out there....)
E. Linux. (If you know what this is, you understand. If you don't, I can't explain it to you.)

2. When you need to search through a portal, which one do you choose?

A. Google (Elegant, timeless interface, and there is only one way in)
B. MSN (Very contemporary, lots of news and colors dominate)
C. Yahoo (Information heaven, all of it essential and relevant)
D. Well, first you have to enter the submarine
E. A seance

3. When you have to produce a document to distribute information, you turn to:

A. WordPerfect
B. Microsoft Word
C. Notepad
D. Pencils, and occasionally quill and ink
E. Interpretive Dance

4. When you need some music in your life, where do you turn?

A. an IPod
B. a MP3 player
C. Don't do music. No evidence of such in the primitive Church
D. A mouthharp
E. My personal theremin

5. On the run, you need to stay in touch. How do you do that?

A. Blackberry
B. Palm PDA or IPac
C. U.S. Postal Service
D. A robust shout and ear trumpets

To tally answers

If you answered with three answers of any one letter, you are:
A= Catholic or Orthodox Christian
B= Liberal Protestant Christian
C= Fundamentalist Protestant Christian
D= Amish Christian
E= Schismatic at best

If you answered across the board, the default result is that you are either on drugs, a relativist, or a college student.



Anonymous said...

That quiz is hilarious. Good post.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Thank ya! Umberto Eco was a lot funnier, but hey, I never claimed to have his talent.

CMinor said...

God help me; all this time I've been Protestant?!

The Ironic Catholic said...

It's OK. I'm actually nearly Amish myself.