Sunday, August 13, 2006

The Theology Channel Introduces "The Iron Theologian" Competition

New York, NY: The Theology Channel (ThC) is introducing a new reality competition series called The Iron Theologian. This show is similar in format to the Food Channel's cult favorite The Iron Chef, and plans to show viewers "the art, drama, and suspense of interpreting Revelation for a variety of palates."

The master of ceremonies, Dresdon Black, announced the new series' "iron theologians"--that is, the preeminent resident theologians that will be challenged by outsiders each week--in front of the Vatican Library.

"The first iron theologian is Henri de Lubac. A specialist in French Nouvelle Theologie, he is famous for his reductions and attention to the Patristic tradition, resulting in theology that is smooth, richly flavored, and full of harmonious surprises."

"The second iron theologian is Karl Rahner. Arguably the voice of Catholic theology during Vatican II, his food has strong Ignatian flavors combined with an underlying Heideggerian tang that lingers, combined with the improbable but surprisingly delicious infusion of Neo-Thomism. His theology presents the reader a kind of complexity--to the point of being hard to swallow--but with repeated presentations, his theology has won devoted fans all over the globe."

"The third iron theologian is Hans Urs Von Balthasar. His luscious, decadent theology tends to hit the same themes repeatedly, but with such warmth and richness that the theology becomes a kind of addiction to its readers. Some people find him notable for what he leaves out of his creations. He is also the only iron theologian to work with a sous chef, Adrienne Von Speyr."

"The fourth iron theologian is Gustavo Gutierrez. His selection was controversial in some circles, but his admittedly Biblically-toned feasts are very welcome in others, as his work leaves a spicy crunch in the mouth that is interesting to address."

"The fifth iron theologian is the 20th century doctor of the Church and Carmelite, St. Therese de Lisieux. Her creations are noted by using pure ingredients and hallmarking their simplicity, their connection to a greater source of nourishment."

The series opener is tonight at 8pm EDT, with the iron theologians inaugerating "Theology Stadium" by offering up various treatments of a chosen surprise doctrine, prepared and arranged in one hour, for their judges. The judges will sample each, and then determine "whose theologia reigns as apologia".

Tickets for tonight's live show are sold out.

(you can get the play by play here: part 1, part 2.)


Delta said...

Go Therese!

Personally, I suspect Rahner would make me require some Pepto-Bismol.

Personally, I prefer the "strong meat" of St. Paul. Basic but good.


St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...

So, when is Fr. Richard McBrien going to be on the show, and which Iron theologian would he challenge? What would be the secret topic? How about Daniel Maguire, or Mary E. Hunt?

The Ironic Catholic said...

Jimbob--this site has a no personal attacks policy, so I'll avoid that. I speak against them, it's a personal attack, I speak for them, I invite personal attacks. So...they won't be on.

OK, back to sweetness and joy! Hey, the Pope said that was good this weekend! ;)