Wednesday, September 06, 2006

(Bulletin Announcement for Adult Faith Formation Classes)

Announcing St. Blaise's Adult Faith Formation: It's Probably For You!

Friend in Christ, have you been slipping from practicing the fullness your Catholic faith? Yes, we know it's uncomfortable to examine your soul regarding these questions. And while you attended Mass--or else you would not be reading this bulletin--that may not be enough.

We want to make it easy to do an examen of conscience. For example, how many of these questions can you answer with a "yes"?

  1. Are you reading these words during the Liturgy of the Eucharist to pass the time?
  2. If so, is it currently hidden within your open hymnal?
  3. Did you bring and light one of those "no douse" birthday candles for a special intention before Mass?
  4. If so, did you then hum "Happy Birthday" while kneeling before the lit candles?
  5. Have you developed an unquenchable thirst for grape juice?
  6. If so, do you picture the juice in little shot glasses?
  7. If so, have you thought while in line for the Eucharist that this would be more comfy if the ministers just passed this out in the shot glasses down the aisle?
  8. When someone sings the Ave Maria, do you begin to daydream of Maria Sharapova (above right)?
  9. Have you thought about giving the priest fashion tips for snazzier stoles?
  10. When the collection basket rolls around, have you interrogated the 10 year old hospitality helper about how the money is divided each week?

1-3 "yes" answers: please sign up for Adult Faith Formation this week.
4-6 "yes" answers: please sign up for Adult Faith Formation today.
7-8 "yes" answers: please sign up for Adult Faith Formation immediately following Mass (we suggest the Fall intensive course)
9-10 "yes" answers: although the Catholic Church doesn't do "altar calls," in your case, we may make an exception. And sign up for Adult Faith Formation.

Always remember, God loves you. But you're being a bit of an idiot. Come join the rest of us idiots on Wednesday night. God bless.


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