Thursday, November 02, 2006

An oldie but goodie: How The Bible Would Be Different If Written By College Students

(This has been around everywhere but is worth repeating. Enjoy!)

The Top Ten Ways The Bible Would Be Different If It Were Written By College Students

10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning cold.
9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced and written in a large font.
8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
7. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
6. Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to abuse@romans.gov .
5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.
3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.
2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshman.
1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put if off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

5 comments:

Panda Rosa said...

Actaully some of these are pretty clever, love the "They were roommates!" one.

Ray from MN said...

Interesting how some things never change. I see only two modifications that would be needed to make this relevant to a 1966 graduate:

#7 Paul's 10 word Telegram (the minimum) to the Romans: "QUIT SINNING NOW STOP PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS STOP BUILD CHURCHES UNDER CEMETERIES STOP PAUL"

#3 "IN COME THE SCHWINN 3-SPEEDS"

CMinor said...

I remember #1-- A version of it used to be posted on the grad teaching assistants' office door when I was last a student 20+ years ago!

Cog said...

In a cruel twist of fate, this here college student is trying to learn two years of medicine by pulling an all-nighter. Any guesses on when the exam is?

Thanks for the laugh, and for reminding me that I'm neither first nor last to do all this.

Peter Halabu said...

I posted this list as a note on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=2215973402 -it might not load, though, sorry), which is a social network originally intended for college students (and yes, I did give proper citation!). I've already gotten three comments about it, which is a good amount. You've got a winner here.

Sincerely,
Peter Halabu