Friday, December 15, 2006

Biblical Exegesis Uncovers God Is Against Gift-Wrapping

(Hat tip to Locusts and Honey, originally at Gazizza, originally from humorist Dave Barry.)

This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so:

"And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:

1. They were wise.

2. They were men.

And there's more at the original site.

Methinks this calls for an ironic female counterpoint...yo ha ha ha ha ha...see above.


1 comment:

Cathy_of_Alex said...

As a woman who HATES wrapping gifts, I fully embrace this Biblical interpretation.