This Side of Heaven, Middle America: After seconds of speculation, the Ironic Catholic confirmed that she is forming an exploratory committee for seeking the U.S. Presidential nomination for 2008.
The formal announcement will take place, insiders say, on an undisclosed mountain top. She will come bearing the seven themes of Catholic Social Teaching on a two slabs of stone. Inside sources are unsure whether her face will be shining or not. She has been caught commenting she will likely be nauseous anticipating the entire ordeal.
When asked what exactly are the seven themes of Catholic Social Teaching, her campaign manager sighed. "See, this is exactly why she is considering a run," he said. "If people don't know the basics about the social ethics of our Christian faith, how will they influence the political process? She wants to get people talking about the inherent dignity of the human person, solidarity, a preferential love for the poor, personal and social rights and responsibilities."
Handily, her platform is already in print; it is called the Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church.
When during the speculation period preceding this announcement, she was asked if she would ask for either prominent political party's endorsement, she started laughing so hard that she apparently dropped the phone. Finally she choked out, "They can read the Compendium and get back to me." She then broke into fits of hysterical laughter again.
She is rumored to be seeking a vice presidential candidate to shoulder the burden of awakening the moral conscience of a country. No political resume preferred.
To be continued....