Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Ironic Catholic Forms Exploratory Committee for 2008

This Side of Heaven, Middle America: After seconds of speculation, the Ironic Catholic confirmed that she is forming an exploratory committee for seeking the U.S. Presidential nomination for 2008.

The formal announcement will take place, insiders say, on an undisclosed mountain top. She will come bearing the seven themes of Catholic Social Teaching on a two slabs of stone. Inside sources are unsure whether her face will be shining or not. She has been caught commenting she will likely be nauseous anticipating the entire ordeal.

When asked what exactly are the seven themes of Catholic Social Teaching, her campaign manager sighed. "See, this is exactly why she is considering a run," he said. "If people don't know the basics about the social ethics of our Christian faith, how will they influence the political process? She wants to get people talking about the inherent dignity of the human person, solidarity, a preferential love for the poor, personal and social rights and responsibilities."

Handily, her platform is already in print; it is called the Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church.

When during the speculation period preceding this announcement, she was asked if she would ask for either prominent political party's endorsement, she started laughing so hard that she apparently dropped the phone. Finally she choked out, "They can read the Compendium and get back to me." She then broke into fits of hysterical laughter again.

She is rumored to be seeking a vice presidential candidate to shoulder the burden of awakening the moral conscience of a country. No political resume preferred.

To be continued....

8 comments:

Cathy_of_Alex said...

IC: I can see you now up at Lutsen with those granite tablets, your face glistening with frost.

Beautiful! It's almost makes me cry.

The Ironic Catholic said...

I'm sure lots of people of would cry if I ran for president, Cathy.

Anonymous said...

Can I volunteer to be you VP candidate? I'm currently looking for a job...

Ray from MN said...

I've knocked on a few doors, pounded a few lawn sign stakes, made a few phone calls raising funds and getting-out-the-vote, so I'm qualified to be your Campaign Manager, I.C.

How about it?

The Ironic Catholic said...

Anon--I think you need a nom de plume....

Ray--this proposed run would be managerless and would accept no funds whatsoever. I could put you in charge of GOTV though (get out the vote!)....

PraiseDivineMercy said...

I get to make your campaign stickers! ^_^

Ray from MN said...

Sigh!

Well, as long as I get invited to the Victory Party, I guess. . . .!

angelmeg said...

Vote for Ironic Catholic . . .



With the Communion of Saints as personal friends, just think of the Cabinet she can put together.


Just try really hard to not get stigmata on the campaign trail. It might be hard to get through Airport Checkpoints with gaping holes in your hands and feet.