Thursday, March 29, 2007

Breaking News: Paul of Tarsus Slam Dunks Thomas Aquinas (UPDATE)

Last time.

Paul won a decisive victory over Thomas in last night's championship game, 80-70. Thomas, in an exclusive post-game courtside interview, smiled beatifically and said it was only "as it should be."

(Tragically, IC is suffering from food poisoning. I'll live, but with much pain for a few hours. So the recap will be short. Honestly, you had to be there anyway.)

The game got off to a roaring start when fans began some trash talk in the stands, to the point of "Paul only wrote about 30 pages in his whole corpus," to which the Pauline crowd retorted "Yeah, but it's revelation, baby!" After Paul scolded the crowd by saying they were acting like a bunch of Galatians, the game began.

Thomas had a strong start in the first half, playing his trademark multifaceted game. The game was characterized by Paul running straight for the basket, while Thomas dribbled the ball thoughtfully and played the clock. Paul did fake out Thomas toward the end of the first quarter, bending over in a cramping position, shouting out "the flesh is weak! the flesh is weak!" Thomas stopped blocking the basket as Paul glanced up, shot, and yelled "Gotcha!" Despite the tomfoolery and Thomas's game slowing deliberate play, Thomas had enough three pointers to put him ahead at the half, 40-38.

Paul pulled ahead definitively in the second half by forcing Thomas engage in an unusual game not yet seen in this championship, the quodlibetal defense. Although Thomas played this style very well (of course), the dynamics of the game changed and Paul's powerhouse of rhetoric offense moved ahead. In the last few minutes, all the other Sweet Sixteen opponents sat blissfully on the court floor behind Paul's basket to watch the powerful beauty of inspired rhetoric up close. In the last minute, Thomas himself joined the beloved of God, sitting courtside, and applauded Paul's classic play toward the basket.



Innocent said...

Oh, well, I was rooting for the Angelic Doctor...

All in the game!

RobK said...


Thanks for this wonderful series! Better than that other March Madness. Two of my favorite saints playing for the title!

I love Pauls rebuke of the crowd. That is soooo Paul.
Thanks! Have a terrific holy week. See you after Easter.