Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Breaking News: Theological March Madness Championship Game Set (UPDATE!)

Last time.

Paul defeats Athanasius by 3, 69-66.
--"Paul of Tarsus once again demonstrated his dominance over the court by edging out a fiesty Athanasius. Paul's strengths in this game--stamina, creativity, and depth--were augmented by using strategically placed time outs to pray for the gifts of the Holy Spirit to help him win souls to Christ (as well as the Basketball game). Athanasius caused a bit of a scene when he refused to leave the court, but eventually retreated when Pope Gregory the Great, who exited in the Sweet Sixteen, came down personally assured him this wasn't another excommunication, just a game."

Thomas Aquinas defeats Augustine in quadruple overtime! 100-99.
--"This game started with each men bowing to the spirit of God in the other man reverantly, and an sotto voce exchange of 'I really hate to do this.' 'Yes, me too.' 'It's all for the greater glory of God, right?' 'Absolutely. By the way, can I get a signed copy of the Summa from you?' 'Only if I can get one of De Trinitate.' Then the two men fought through this game tooth and claw. The score went back and forth a total 50 times, Augustine dazzling the awestruck crowd with his poetic lay-ups and complete slam-dunks, and Thomas moving gracefully from play to play and ending with a fluid swoosh every score (no backboard necessary). Both men also played a dazzling defensive game, Augustine stealing the ball with flair and gusto, and Thomas blocking the ball like he was a wall. The ball was never loose throughout the entire game. Thomas ended up winning on an unexpected three-pointer from near midcourt. The crowd rushed the floor for scraps of the nets (third order relics) while Thomas and Augustine left the court for a refreshing hour of eucharistic adoration together."

Championship game: Paul of Tarsus v. Thomas Aquinas, Wednesday, March 28.


Anonymous said...

Sweet! I have a decade-spot riding on this!

God Bless,

RobK said...

Woo hoo!

P -- A -- U -- L
Fight! Fight! Fight!

Ray from MN said...

I.C., you're the best!

Sanctus Belle said...

Ok, I admit I don't get how Thomas Aquinas could possibly even play hoops let alone win...I mean the mans a chubb. Well, unless of course they're playing in thier glorified bodies, but then the general resurrection hasn't taken place yet...

Anonymous said...

Go Thomas Aquinas!!!!

The Ironic Catholic said...

Sanctus Belle--he plays a really smart game.

Anonymous said...

Hm - Paul versus Thomas Aquinas? I foresee real danger of the match having to be abandoned due to both players being rapt in heavenly ecstasy.

No way am I going to stick my neck out and forecast the result for this one. Brilliant reporting so far, I.C.!