Thursday, April 12, 2007
Theological Reasons Why April Blizzards Are Evil
See the lovely statue of the Blessed Mother? That's outside my office. Pleasant, yes? However, note that white stuff on the ground. It is April 11 in Minnesota, and we are having a blizzard.
What is a Catholic theologian to do... other than pull out the gloves she packed away? These are the times that try even winter-hardy Minnesotans' souls. But in faith, I reject despair and seek understanding....
1. Blizzards in April are further evidence of the moral disorder of the universe that came about through the original sin. Snow outside of the November to March window is intrinsically disordered. 'Nuff said.
2. If we stuck to Old Testament methods of interpretation, this calamity would be seen as evidence that we have fallen away from the covenant and need repentance. Minnesotans need to take a hard look at themselves and see where we have offended God as a state.
(OK, let's not, actually. Could take a while.)
3. Maybe it's a freak occurrence, after all: Job didn't have a blizzard hit him in the midst of losing his children, home, livelihood, and health. Even the Prince of Darkness is not normally that creative.
But, in the end, I'm sticking with...
4. Relativism run amuck: Meteorologists are now on the relativism bandwagon, calling for blizzard conditions in times and places where they simply are not right. Next they'll be calling for sleet in Columbia. You keep an eye on them, Holy Father!