Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"Modern-Day Martin Luther Nails 95 Comment Cards To IHOP Door"

Courtesy of The Great One, the Onion. And a hat tip to Happy Catholic...even though this belongs more on "The Ironic Lutheran"....

...Lyman said that his pancake fundamentalism is based on "the trinity of griddle-fried batter, butter, and maple syrup, as directed by our breakfast elders more than two score years ago." His beliefs were forged by years of increasing dissatisfaction with the "internationalist" influence within IHOP, which he said stresses flavor over substance.

"The course of my life changed last week when a waitress dropped a tray and I was struck with hot coffee," Lyman said. "As I wiped my eyes and opened them, suddenly I became aware of the full extent of the corruption. Sweet crepes mingling with egg runoff. The sickening decadence of Belgian waffles. A waitstaff more concerned with lining their pockets with tips than with dedicating their lives to service. I stormed from the wicked place without settling my bill, finally realizing what I must do: devote my life to bringing down the House of Pancakes. To bring it down, then build it anew in righteousness and customer satisfaction."

IHOP manager Dennis Ryskowski said that he has tried to read some of Lyman's comments during his breaks, but has so far only made it to card 26, "On the Blankets of Pigs." ...


I can't believe they didn't mention the Diet of Worms.
--I.C.

5 comments:

Adoro te Devote said...

OK totally OT, but how could you NOT have posted on the Spirit of Vatican II parish yet?

They're doing an incredible job and they really feed off of the comments...no matter what the "leaning". :-D


OK, and then to be OT:

I read this earlier in the day and had to wipe tears away.

Tim said...

I'm torn as to whether "Diet of Worms" would make the best band name ever, the best album title ever, or the best book title ever.

And I think your current title photo shows one of Ben Franklin's proofs for his thesis "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy".

Sanctus Belle said...

Oh Those Lutherans! This one is one of your best IC!

The Ironic Catholic said...

Oh but Sanctus Belle, if only I had written it...I swiped it from the Onion....

Tim: best rock band, for sure.

Adoro: OT? You mean Old Testament, right?

Adoro te Devote said...

: -)

On Topic. Oops. I wasn't making any sense last night. On Topic, off topic...it's the culture of relativism confusing me. One OT is just as good as another, isn't it? Even if the intended meaning is opposite, why not use the same abbreviation for both?