Our anonymous source, "Blessed Throat," said that "The Bishop tried to be non-directive in allowing a wide range of possibilities for mentioning mothers in the Sunday homily. But since the homily is supposed to be a pastoral reflection on the readings of the day, it is always a challenge to shoehorn mom in there. And having overheard odd comments at the last few parish brunches to honor mothers, he decided to post a list of connections that will NOT work. Call it 'The Mother's Day Anti-Talking Points brief.' I don't want to say they've been done before. Or not. Ah, I just should have said no comment."
The list of "Easter-Mother's Day Connector comments that do NOT work for the readings this 2007 Mother's Day":
- You know, friends of Christ, a wise mother would have not nicknamed her child, Judas, "Barsabbas."
- A good mother would have whipped up some yummy, wholesome vegetarian stew and avoided that whole nasty issue of eating strangled meat offered to idols.
- I'll bet a mother would have looked at that Holy City of Jerusalem, gleaming in splendor, descended from the heavens, and said "Finally! A self-cleaning home! I KNEW God was great!"
- When Christ said "Whoever does not love me does not keep my words; yet the word you hear is not mine but that of the Father who sent me," he wasn't talking about the times your sainted mother called out in the yard "Dad said come get your grub before he throws it out!"
- "The Advocate, the Holy Spirit...will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you." But had you listened to your mother, you wouldn't need to be reminded, would you?
Bishop Graystone wished all people a holy Easter season and refused further comment.