Crummy Church Signs' The "Dionne Warwick Just Rolled Over In Her Grave" post has a real winner:
REAL LIFE CHURCH SIGN:
"Love life and life will love you"
submitted and asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Jamie
--Nice sentiment! Alternatively, there's this completely opposite sentiment that Jesus Himself espoused....
It Came From Allen's Brain: Icon and Prayer of Saint Expressus of Java.
We praise thee, O Lord, Creator of the coffee bean, Benevolent Source of the beatific, stimulating qualities of caffeine contained within that holy element, without which regeneration many of thy servants would yet be lying sluggishly in their depraved state of slothful recumbence!Kinda Kitschy: The Miraculous Jesus Night Light
Be merciful to us in those moments before we have had our first taste of that stabilizing beverage, for truly we know not what we do.... (and more)
Imagine being a frightened child. You are having a nightmare where some beastly, hairy man with white glowing eyes is chasing you. Suddenly, with great relief, you wake up, only to find yourself staring at a beastly, hairy man with white glowing eyes.
Child: Do you love me, night light Jesus?
NLJ: Yes, child.
Child: Do you watch over me when I'm sleeping, night light Jesus?
NLJ: Of course, child.
Child: Night light Jesus, are you going to eat me?