Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Top 100 Ironic Reasons to Be Catholic: #20-11

(You can find the other 80 reasons in this series here.)

20. The chrism oil smells sooooo good. It almost makes you want to get baptized again, but then you'd be Baptist.
19. Got a social issue? We've got a statement.
18. a. Man does not live by bread alone. b. We're centered in Italy. c. Ergo, Catholics are encouraged to eat more pasta. Score.
17. The eternal city may have something to do with the prevalence of wine as well...a good thing.
16. If you ever get stranded on a desert island with a large enough supply of unconsecrated* communion wafers, you couldn't exactly live off them, but you could probably glue them together to make a serviceable raft.
15. ...alternatively, you could take your mind off your impending death by playing unconsecrated host tiddlywinks.
14. A cloistered nun is the patron saint of missionaries (St. Therese de Lisieux).
13. If it weren't for us, the "Filet O' Fish" sandwich would have tanked years ago, placing fishermen out of honest work.
12. Our churches are never, ever named after subdivisions.
11. We, and only we, have the Ten Commandments for Drivers.

*note that incredibly important adjective. I am not, repeat not, a blasphemer. Thanks.

We're coming up on number #1!
Stay tuned!--I.C.



Belly laughs are a rare treat these days. Thankyou


Intrepid Mother of the Front Pew Crew said...

Numbers 1-10 are going to have to be great to really deserve topping #16.

Ray from MN said...

Speaking of #16, have you ever thought about the logistics of providing those millions of "unconsecrated" hosts each week to the 30,000 or so parishes in the United States alone?

I wonder if the Harvard Business School has ever done a study and passed on its recommendations to the USCCB?

I'm just guessing that they can make 100 at a time. I assume that they are made in Convents. But say that 40,000,000 hosts a week are needed, that would be 40,000 oven loads, plus all the packaging and shipping.

Surely the Wonder Bread people might have some ideas on how to be more efficient.

And make things of them besides rafts.

angelmeg said...

Lots of food references this time, were you hungry by any chance?