Friday, September 07, 2007

Ecumenical Lightbulb Jokes

(They make you groan, but in a good way.)

How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one since his/her hands are in the air anyway.
How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?
We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, NOT by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, it is still dark.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing...(all together!) that's how it is with God's love (sing along!) once you've experienced it, you want to sing, it's fresh like Spring, you want to pass it on....
How many United Church of Christ members does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven. One to change the light bulb. And ten more to organize a covered dish supper that will follow the changing of the bulb service.
How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
1. We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ. OR
2. Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved --you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. We always use candles.
(The full list is here.)

I'm out of town until Monday...I.C.

8 comments:

Panda Rosa said...

I always love a good Light-Bulb Joke. My favorite is How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the light-bulb...... and one NOT to change the light-bulb.

Allen said...

My fav is how many boring people it takes to change a lightbulb. ~Sigh~ Just one.

Sanctus Belle said...

Hilarious! Oddly, in our home prayer room, we installed this nice track lighting for the altar and at night when we pray the rosary we only light the candles! Funny but true!!

Athanasius contra mundum said...

I like the one about the Catholics. That's great!!

Gregory said...

Q: How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to bind the spirit of darkness in the room.

----

Q: How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: CHANGE?!

Diana said...

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Change!??!!

The Ironic Catholic said...

How many Catholic bloggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, for it is better to turn on one monitor than to curse the darkness.

mary said...

In the same vein ... :)

How many Politically Correct Clergy does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Politically Correct Clergy do not change light bulbs. They ban light bulb jokes.