Monday, September 03, 2007

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

(See the previous comment box for guidance.)
Why do bad things happen to good people?

Abysmally Cute Kitten (or ACK): Probably because they don't buy an "Adorable Kittens" calendar every year to brighten their kitchen.

ACK: ...or maybe they let the litter box go for a week. Karma's a wicked mistress, friends.

ACK: Dear Father in Heaven, why does she spin into the theological stratosphere when all I want is my Tender Vittles?

ACK: I might answer that if I hadn't shredded Kushner's book in a purple freaky catnip induced haze.

ACK: You know, even Job's wife fed their cat.

ACK: Read some Leibniz, you idiot.

ACK: A time to live, a time to die, a time to reap, a time to sow. Turn, turn, turn already. Now it's a time to feed the cat, woman.

ACK: See that big black box with an On button? Take to someone who cares. Oprah's on Channel 2.

ACK: I don't know, but if you don't rub me soon, I'll deviously attack your leg while you sleep like a tuna-scented mouse. Then you'll find out.

ACK: Be Socratic and ask Allen. It was his question in the first place.

Add your own kitty ponderings in the midrash box. I'll add more throughout the day.


The Ironic Catholic said...

P.S. I like cats.

Antony said...

I laughed hard on this one. This is one of your best. Very witty, and I love cats! Good work!

St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...

I love cats as well, marinated in a smoky cabernet sauvignon, and served roasted over a bed of risotto.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Jimbob: ewww.... Now you go to confession for thinking that!

Mary Margaret said...

ACK: Who cares? I'm a cat--bad things (like lack of dinner) should NOT happen to cats! Besides, you're a Cat-holic. Can't you see I have the same hair style as Pope Benedict? Would you starve him? Well, would ya punk??

Cat Lover in NE said...

The real question is why do ugly things happen to cute kittens?