Saturday, December 01, 2007

Encyclical Unwelcome News For The Hopeless Community

Kansas City, MO: Pope Benedict probably thought it seemed like a safe topic: Spe Salvi, a magisterial document on the theological virtue of hope.

Nevertheless, there was an impromptu riot in the streets of Kansas City after the document's release by a group of people who rallied around the title "the hopeless community".

"We're moping for our right to be as despairing and bleak as we want to be," said protester Vincent Gray. "It's been a good year for it, too: the war, the election, the economy tanking, climate change. How dare he say that isn't the ultimate way to live! I embrace my anguish."

"Forlornness is what gets me up in the morning," added fellow protester Mara Johannsen, solemnly.

The riot was marked by a certain lethargy, but when asked, protesters claimed they were "bring true to themselves." The riot ended with a woman reading Sylvia Plath poetry as performance art. Then people began to nod slowly, and trudge wretchedly home.

A man sitting in a cardboard shack across the street, who identified himself as "Big Joe," shook his head and commented upon the event's conclusion, "Those people are seriously not right in the head."


(Abandon all hope if you enter the world of


Angela said...

This is now one of my favorites of yours! It may be the early winter blues, it just may be where I am at right now, but this satire made me laugh at myself. Thank you for reminding me that through it all, we need to keep our sense of humor.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Angela--I write these to keep my own sense of humor, as well. Glad you liked it.