Kansas City, MO: Pope Benedict probably thought it seemed like a safe topic: Spe Salvi, a magisterial document on the theological virtue of hope.
Nevertheless, there was an impromptu riot in the streets of Kansas City after the document's release by a group of people who rallied around the title "the hopeless community".
"We're moping for our right to be as despairing and bleak as we want to be," said protester Vincent Gray. "It's been a good year for it, too: the war, the election, the economy tanking, climate change. How dare he say that isn't the ultimate way to live! I embrace my anguish."
"Forlornness is what gets me up in the morning," added fellow protester Mara Johannsen, solemnly.
The riot was marked by a certain lethargy, but when asked, protesters claimed they were "bring true to themselves." The riot ended with a woman reading Sylvia Plath poetry as performance art. Then people began to nod slowly, and trudge wretchedly home.
A man sitting in a cardboard shack across the street, who identified himself as "Big Joe," shook his head and commented upon the event's conclusion, "Those people are seriously not right in the head."
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