Saturday, January 26, 2008

Fanfare for the Common Priest

OK, ok, the language is a little much for our lily-white and pure website. But please go over to The Deacon's Bench and read this supposed rant from a priest. I laughed out loud.

A few tidbits to whet the appetite (somewhat cleaned up, sorry):

1. For all of you who come to church and talk and gossip all the way until Mass starts: shut the **** up! Other people are trying to say their **** prayers. Please avail yourself of the modern invention called the "telephone" to do your gossiping. Detraction and gossip are sins you know. Don't even know what "detraction" is? Look it up.

2. You don't have to wear a tie (men) or a fancy hat (women) like we're freakin' baptists, but have some decency. How much money did it cost to air-condition this church? So put on some long pants, you can stand it. Don't wear your favorite tasteless message t-shirt. And ladies, this is not the place to show off your big bosoms.

3. Oh, and all of you with crying babies: God bless you! Everybody is welcome in church, and that's what babies do. Anybody gives you a dirty look, tell them to go **** in their hat. God blessed you with new life, and all they have is a crabby disposition. But for you with noisy teenagers: beat them.
HT: Locusts and Honey.


SherryTex said...

thanks for directing us to this.

Would love to see what the good priest does with Unity Candles, sappy hand written vows, people using cell phones during the homily and ill advised musical selections by the all volunteer choir.

Ellyn said...

I absolutely love it!!!
(And if a priest didn't write it, perhaps someone who works in a rectory did... :) The stuff we hear...oy! And after all that my reward usually is being stuck in front of people who talk all the way - ALL THE WAY - through Mass. Even last year at the Easter Vigil. I wanted to poke those folks with my vigil candle - while it was still burning!!!)

Christopher said...


too funny. Wish there had a comment about music:
"We're Catholic, we sing. I don't really care if you like this style of music or not-- I have to sing it several times each Sunday."

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

too funny :)