Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Biblical Interpretation Joke

Best of the Humorous Blogosphere continues as I negotiate my life through Psalm 23. OK, I guess it isn't that bad, quite.... Anyway, this joke is from Julie at Happy Catholic:


My friend Bob was instructing our introductory Scripture class in lectio divina, and was warning them about the dangers of simply opening the Bible at random and taking whatever their eye fell on first as a direct message from the Holy Spirit. He told this story:

Ten years out of high school, Tom ran into his old classmate Fred, once informally voted ‘least likely to succeed.’ But Fred was driving a $70,000 car and sporting an imported suit.

“Fred!” said Tom, “You’re sure looking prosperous—how’d you do it?”

“It’s the easiest thing, Tom,--my grandma left me a little legacy, and the Lord guided me to turn it into a lot of money! I just took a Bible, flipped it open at random and put my finger down on the page. It landed on the word ‘oil’ so I invested in an oil well and the money started rolling in. So then I went back to the Bible, flipped it open again, and this time my finger came down on ‘gold’ so I bought a bunch of gold coins and doubled my money in a year. It’s really been amazing!”

Tom congratulated him and hurried home to pick up his Bible. “If it works for dumb old Fred, it’s got to work for me,” he thought.

So, he flipped open his Bible, plopped his finger down on the page, and looked down to read it. It said “Chapter 11.”


(Ba dump bump.)

6 comments:

Gabe said...

That is a good one!

CMinor said...

Sorry to hear things are tough right now--will say a prayer!

The Ironic Catholic said...

Cminor--thanks.

Rachel Gray said...

A guy in desperate circumstances was trying to figure out what to do, so he opened his Bible and put his finger on a verse. It said:

"Judas went out and hanged himself."

The guy decided to try again, and got this verse:

"Go thou and do likewise."

One more try and he got:

"What you are about to do, do quickly."

Bob is right about the dangers of taking random verses as messages from God!

angelmeg said...

Satan can quote scripture too. That is why we need the gift of the discernment of spirits whenever we think we are receiving a message from "the Lord" . Why wouldn't satan use the words of the good book to confuse someone who went looking there for "all the answers." Part of the reason we have community is so that we can test the spirit of any call.

onionboy said...

I am preping a talk for a course I am teaching at out parish and was trying to remember an old joke I heard 25 years ago while in Bible College (until recently I was an ordained protestant minister).

I "googled" "joke go thou do likewise" and behold, I got two jokes for the free price of one and via a blogging buddy Julie D. Thanks Ironic. Isn't the web a wondrous thang?