Monday, January 14, 2008

Why Did The Chicken, um, Christian Cross The Road?

Augustine: Late have I crossed the road, so ancient and so new. Late have I crossed you.

Francis of Assisi: It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. Therefore, I crossed the road.

Thomas Aquinas: All I have written seems to me like so much straw after what I experienced crossing the road.

Dorothy Day: As Dostoevsky said, "To cross the road in reality is a terrible and harsh thing compared to crossing the road in dreams."

Mother Teresa: We are not called to be successful in crossing the road, but faithful.

Therese de Lisieux: I know! MY VOCATION IS CROSSING THE ROAD!

Martin Luther: Here I stand, I cannot cross the road, so help me God.

John Wesley: My heart was strangely warmed, and thus I crossed the road.

Ulrich Zwingli: I crossed the road to destroy this image, an obvious font of idol-worship....

Pope John Paul II: We stand on the threshold of hope, ready to cross the road.

Pope Paul VI: If you want peace, work at crossing the road.

Teresa of Avila: After tripping and landing in a puddle in the middle of the crosswalk, she sensed God saying to her, "This is how I treat my friends." Teresa answered, "Lord, no wonder you have so few!"

--I.C. has a few funnier jokes than these. Not holier, though.


angelmeg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
angelmeg said...

St. Joseph Cuppertino

I was praying and the next thing I knew I was levitating over the road. I promise to try to keep my feet on the ground next time across.

Athanasius contra mundum said...

St Peter
I was walking away from the street when I saw Jesus walking towards it. I asked "Quo vadis Domini?" He said he was going to cross th road again. I got the hint and I crossed the road.

Allen said...

The Chicken Christian:
"CROSS the ROAD? Are you kidding? There might be temptation over there! Or lost people with questions about politics and eschatology!"

C.S. Lewis:
"I'll use the back of my wardrobe, thank you."

The Christian Chicken:
"Bawk-bawk! B-Gawk!" Which, when translated, is something about the parallels between baptism and soup, and then something about what happened to his Uncle Frank."

Diesel said...

What about John Calvin? "Before I was born, God knew that I would cross the road."

The Ironic Catholic said...

Way to do my work for me, folks!

raising3saints said...

John Hus: You may decide for yourself whether or not to cross the road; you do not need a priest or the Pope to tell you when, or even whether or not to cross the road! It is between you and the road whether you cross it!

Sanctus Belle said...

St. Germaine Cousin: "Road? I prefer to cross rivers which after the Lord parts the waters at my request. Much more dramatic..."

SherryTex said...

Athiest/secular humanist relativist person: There is no road, only the perception of one, and as such, I have no intention of commiting myself at this time to such a ridiculous course of action.