(An occasional Jack Handey-ish series.)
I was trying to swallow and squeeze back tears in Mass today, as my throat felt like someone turned it inside out and scraped it with sandpaper. Then the perfect apologetic for the fullness of Catholicism floated before my tear-filled eyes, a vision of clarity and truth. The reason I am fighting some virulent cousin of strep is because our parish didn't celebrate St. Blaise's feast day--on a Sunday this year--with the blessing of the throats. Thus says the Lord, so it is revealed the reason our Protestant brothers and sisters hack their way through March*: they don't intercede to St. Blaise, blessed patron of throats; therefore, they may be saved through baptism but endure a fiery living death of the sore throat every Spring. Those viruses KNOW things; indeed, being without free will, they cannot lie. Therefore, Catholicism contains the fullness of the faith. It was abiding comfort to my soul, as I waited for the sacred moment to pop a lozenge after Communion.
*Ok, can you prove they don't? Has anyone asked? Thought not. For all we know, Luther made the big break and sore throats in Germany rose by 200%. Insight is all about asking the unusual questions, folks.
(Humor-Blogs.com sometimes causes me to squeeze back tears too.)