Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Michael's Has A Craft Sale, Five DREs Hospitalized

Advanced Religious Ed project: Risen Jesus created with peeps, left.

Sante Fe, New Mexico: In what the diocese is calling "an unfortunate coincidence," five local directors of religious education were trampled in a 75% off craft sale at Michael's Arts and Crafts this Monday morning.

Mary Elizabeth Hunt of St. Alphonsus Ligouri Parish, speaking through a swath of bandages covering her bloody face, said "I thought we were going to help the parish come under budget this year, for once, when I saw the sale paper. I mean, popsicle sticks, 1000 for $1! Think how many decorative crosses that would have made." Her eyes welled with tears. "And the pipe cleaners...they even had liturgical colors in stock."

St. Sabina Church's DRE, Johanna Ruston, said the tussle was worth the broken arm and sprained ankle. "Every catechetical moment needs some egg carton crates and markers. So sometimes we run into each other there...well, not literally run into each other, until now. Personally, I think VBS pushed us over the edge. But I got the last sack of multi-colored feathers for the Jerusalem Chicken pinata. I'm positive those feathers will make the pedagogical difference," she said, rubbing her cast absently.

Mildred Argetbringer of Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish, sporting a back brace, had a different theory. "I think it was the felt. Michael's should have known that 100 pieces of stiffened felt for 10 cents was going to cause a riot in our circle." But she has decided that the felt she was grabbing ultimately wasn't worth it. "I was going to make a bright ordinary time banner--ours is looking dusty--but I don't know. I think since I grabbed it out of Johanna's hand and broke her arm, well...it just feels like 'blood felt' to me," she ended quietly.

All five were released. The diocesan representative was unavailable for interview.

--I.C.

14 comments:

Meredith Gould said...

Perfect! The former DRE at my former parish spent so much time at Michael's and had so much craftalia in her office that one wondered...a lot.

angelmeg said...

"God is love . . . Let's make a banner!" was one of the mantras we learned in DRE 101.

But Mary Elizabeth needs to move into the new millenium, no one makes crosses out of popsicle sicks anymore! Now we use unhinged clothespins. Sheesh she is so last century.

angelmeg, DRE in recovery.

Jaya said...

No paper plates? I thought all religious education involved paper plates!

D. Scott Miller said...

I once helped a former DRE move out of an apartment. Her entire second bedroom was storage for crafts. . .

Helen said...

Yarn. Let us not forget that yarn is the tie that binds (and macrames, and hinges, and can be glued down, and can suspend other projects from the ceiling...

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

LOL, no wonder there's zero catechesis they're running debt at Michaels

Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Absolutely brilliant! I'm just pissed 'cus I didn't think of it first!!!

hjkl said...

welcome to the wow power leveling cheap Wow gold service site, buy cheap wow gold,wow gold,world of warcraft power leveling buy wow gold

Anonymous said...

メル友
メル友
メル友
メル友
メル友
援交
援交
セフレ
セフレ
セフレ
処女
処女
出会い
出会い
出会い
出会い
メル友
出会い
出会い
処女
Thanks a lot!!

wedding said...

Your wedding dress is likely to be the most significant component of the wedding ceremony. cheap wedding invitationsEveryone's eyes will be on the bride.
wedding dresses Whatever style of wedding you settle on, [url=http://www.vponsale.com/]wedding gowns[/url]you'll find that there's a lot of traditions that relate to the wedding ceremony - even with some of the more unusual themed weddings.
[url=http://www.vponsale.com/bridesmaid-dresses/]cheap bridesmaid dresses[/url].

Anonymous said...

競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想

Anonymous said...

競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想
競馬予想

童貞 said...

セフレ
家出掲示板で援助交際セフレ
メル友
人とのかかわりがいやで仕方ない
セフレ
やっぱり夜遊び!
よさほい
出会い系
熟女
人妻
出会い系
メル友
中本掲示板
家出掲示板
中身の詰まったDiary
家出少女掲示板
家出掲示板
生命
眠さMAX!!
セフレ
出会い
熟女
熟女
てりたま
白状記
援助交際相手とセフレ
アイアイサー
ムツゴロウ
花粉症は辛いです
セフレ

Anonymous said...

video
video
video
video
videowiki
wiki
wiki
wikiレンタルサーバー
レンタルサーバー
レンタルサーバー
レンタルサーバー
レンタルサーバー