Monday, June 16, 2008

The Third Annual Ironic Catholic Poetry Contests!

I know, you had mercifully forgotten, yet here we are again: The Third Annual Ironic Catholic Poetry Contests! Where just entering is really the truest reward (but someone will get a blog button anyway).

The Serious Haiku Contest!
Example and 2006 notable:
Jesus called a thief
to be among his chosen-
there is hope

--Lee Strong

The Funny Haiku Contest!
Example and 2006 winner:

Keep losing temper,
Which saint am I to pray to:
Anthony or Jude?

--Tim Ferguson

The "sum up your spiritual life in six words" contest! (Read the article to get the idea here. These can be ironic, amusing, serious, or all three.)
Sin, repent, repeat, sin, repent, repeat.

Want to enter? Compose your masterpiece, and put it in the comments box. Or if you're shy, send it to ironiccatholic at yahoo dot com.

Get your entries in by June 28th. Tell your friends!

Also...I am teaching an intensive summer session the next two weeks, so blogging may be nonexistent. I'm still around, just busy. Now get crackin'!

And to make blog bling people happy, you can put this on your blog if your enter. Or even if you don't--what am I going to do, hunt you down?


Nadja Magdalena said...

Entries for the serious Haiku contest (can one enter more than one? If not, choose what you feel is the best of the three!)

Crucified for me
Although my heart is like stone;
This is Love.

Jesus lifted up,
Broken, bleeding on the cross.
My Lord and my God!

Blessed Sacrament--
I avert my eyes in shame.
Have mercy!

Nadja Magdalena said...

Entries for the Funny Haiku Contest:

Here I am again.
Why do confessionals not
Have revolving doors?

Love my enemies,
Pray for my persecutors.
All but her.

angelmeg said...

I believe in God!
I think?

pretty much sums my spiritual life up to a tee.

Nadja Magdalena said...

One more for the "Spiritual Life in Six Words"--then I'll shut up.

I want to love Him more.

Helen said...

serious Haiku

Jesus loves me even
though I fail so explosively
He is my truest friend!

lionel said...


Melt on my proud tongue,
Blessed Sacrament Divine,
That I may speak You.


Sprinkled infant now
Welcome, branch to the Lord's vine!
You are born again.


Not I, but You. I'm failing.

lionel said...

Funny Haiku entry:


Incense rises high —
Sacramental / God pointer –
So why do I cough?

Laura said...


Praying always for a better me.

Dad 2 eight said...

Entry for serious Haiku:

All Sacred Scripture
Inspired by the Holy Ghost
Is fragrant with God.

Dad 2 eight said...

Serious Haiku: #2

Pictures from Hubble
Shout Thy majestic "I AM"
And that "i am not."

Dad 2 eight said...

Serious Haiku #3

We sing a new song
When we give ourselves to Christ.
A song 'twixt lovers.

Anonymous said...

So many serious ones...


Well, Nero is dead
so God sent down upon us
Worship Commissions

Ray from MN said...

Well, I have written a couple of po-ems in my life, but this time I'll try a Clerihew, having just graduated from the 12th and maybe last annual American Chesterton Society Conference at the U of St Thomas in St Paul. Don't ask.

The Ironic Catholic
A notably humorous chic
Teaches babies and bloggers and scholars,
How by writing they can make more than a few dollars!

Helen said...

Six Words about my spiritual life.

Follow, fall, get up, fall, follow.

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Hopeful, knowing I'll fail, I submit.

Laura said...

Funny Haiku

A Sunday night Mass

After a long bad hair day-

My heart aches for veils


My spiritual life in six words:

Help! Help, help, HELP! Oh, thanks.

TaniaRocha said...

six words:

Was lost. Found God despite myself.

swissmiss said...

Ray said you were taking clerihews!??? Only see his here. Less competition then.

Archbishop Nienstedt
Wasn't aware at the outset
That Minnesota nice
Could be as cold as ice.

My first and last clerihew :)

Catholic Audio said...


There once was a priest from Nantucket,
Whose thurible looked like a bucket.
"Sometimes, all alone,
From the archbishop's throne,
I'll see just how far I can chuck it!"

Serious Haiku:

Going to you, Lord,
A Sagrado Corazon,
Always refuge I find.

6 words:

"What I will, I do not."


God Bless,

Helen said...

How about a cinquain?

expressive, timeless
writing, reading, living
God reigns benevolently powerful

Biteofpunkinpie said...

Giving our all
time and time again we
serve you, Lord.

LarryD said...

Entry #1 for Spiritual Life in Six Words:

'I was never very good at Mathematics.'

Entry #2: 'Repentant, I fall. Merciful, You raise.'

Paul Cat said...

Ok here I geaux (uhh that's cajun for go).

6 Word phrases that sum up my spiritual life.

-I want what is not good.
-God calls. I respond . . . usually poorly.
-Grace filled. I Passion mongered. Empty.
-I danced to God's burning violin.

I'll be back later with some poetry. I need a little time to write it.

Catholic Audio said...

Funny Haiku

Living water, huh?
Sure, I could use a good bath.
...Oh. Wait. Never mind...


Not entirely
An intelligent notion
To match wits with God


"Take and eat," he says.
"You will never thirst," he says.
What...I'm too skinny?

JimmyV said...

How often I turn from Him.

Laura said...

Funny Haiku

Lovely Sign of Peace
(But, do you shake or not shake
During flu season?)

PraiseDivineMercy said...

Fun... ^_^

Serious haiku then:

Red Rose crushed
on calvary hill to save
poor dandelions.

Spirituality in six words:
"Life's Merciful Lord, defeat my self."

I have a few regular poems as well if you'd like to see them.

angelmeg said...

a married couple's life in six words:

Their job; pray spouse to heaven.

Allen's Brain said...

For the 6 words, from a tired preacher: Saturday night. No sermon. Oh crap!

Helen said...

There once was a Cardinal named Joseph Ratzinger,
The College of Cardinals put a special ring on his finger.
That special sign gave the world renewed hope,
That great man was made our new pope!

I hope this works as a clerihew. It is my first time writing one.

Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

Serious Haiku:

Sometimes they show that
Even liberals know it's
Really a baby.


Six Words:

So much potential; what a shame.

Chris said...

What a GREAT contest! Thanks!

Funny Haiku #1

A convert's question:
Do cradle Catholics sing when
There's no one listening?

Funny Haiku #1 (rejoinder)

Do the Protestants
Ever stop with the singing
So they can listen?

Meredith Gould said...

I call out
not as an epithet,
but for help and mercy.

Allen's Brain said...

Humorous haiku:

Is there any place
For a protestant who reads
I.C.'s funny blog?

Appeal to ego:
The Ironic Catholic
Inspires, tickles me.

Sister Mary puns,
"A distinctive garment is
Quite a good habit."

Rufus McCain said...


garden agony
stay awake and watch with me
as green vines turn red


Fr. Smith preaching
a homily he found at
homilies dot com

Six word summary:

disgruntled sinner seeks truth in nutshell

CatholicAudio said...


Poetry Contest?
Like I can write poetry.
Humph. Maybe next time.


Hey - if you can't beat the guys,
You join them instead.


The Inquisition:
Perhaps not the best method
to "evangelize".


The Church is One, Holy,
Cath-lic...and...wait, don't tell me's...Melancholic?

Allen's Brain said...

You freed me from Law:
from a works-based righteousness.
Freed to be your slave!

LarryD said...

Funny Haiku:

Choir starts to sing;
It's another Haugen hymn?
How many are there?

Serious Haiku:

In my folded hands
Beads linked to a crucifix
Powerful weapon

Paul Cat said...

Not so serious:

Studying for comps,
The mind becomes unreasonable.
Professors go missing.

A demoniac:
Driven away when Jesus
Gave him the finger.


A flame flickers,
And the fading light
Hides the white lily.

RC2 said...

Here are two from Rueful Red, a reader at my blog:

His serious entry is from the close of the Te Deum:

In Te Domine
Speravi. Non confundar
In Aeternum.

And his playful entry is as follows:

Trendy liturgists
Beg the Lord to "Kum-bay-yah!"
But I don't.

Lee Strong said...

Holy cow.

I get mentioned and one of my poems cited, then I don't stumble across it for a month and miss the deadline for the new contest. Sigh.

Thanks for the mention. I also see you got some good poems anyway.

I promise to pay attention. Really.

I gotta stop wasting my time on reading the ultra orthodox blogs. Little intentional humor on them anyway!

Nurse said...

I love poetry but was never much for the Haiku.

Football Betting Gambler said...

It looks like some people do not know how to properly format their poems and are just writing lines lol.