Irving, TX: St. Mary Magdalene Church announced at this past Sunday's Mass they were going to "keep it real, keep it honest" by admitting that they were simply worshiping the United States on 4th of July weekends.
"It was so freeing," gushed Joy DeLouche, a long-time member of the parish. "Some of our members fought against this move, but it was so refreshing to be honest about what we truly want. Everyone just wants to sing America the Beautiful on this weekend, and the parish needed to get on board with the rest of the country."
DeLouche's husband, Jim, said "Yeah, some said it was giving up God for the culture of death, but really, y'all, we're grilling sausage and juggling sparklers. There's a time and a place for everything, you know?"
One of those opting out of the Sunday Mass was Ron Jackson, who said this started years earlier. "First we had an American flag in the sanctuary. Then it got moved to the altar. Then we sang a patriotic songs on the 4th, and other state holidays. Then all the songs became patriotic songs. I appreciate living in the USA, but I was increasingly uncomfortable with this. I heard this weekend was going to go all out, and I decided to worship in another town."
When asked what was different about this weekend's Mass, Joy DeLouche said "First, people were really singing because we love those patriotic songs, you know. Father came down the aisle draped in a red, white, and blue stole, and his homily on "being like a little child" for our country was really stirring. We handed out rosaries for the occasion with little "flag beads". The statue of the Blessed Mother is already blue, so we did up her fingernails in red and white. And the altar was draped in Old Glory, and we lit some Roman Candles after the consecration. So, really, our liturgy committee didn't think it wasn't all that different...it was mostly the externals that made the Mass, you know."
Jim DeLouche admitted, "There was one unfortunate moment. We all stood up to say the Pledge of Allegiance between the Word and the Eucharist, and one person kind of ... well ... he had a seizure or something. He began foaming at the mouth and shouting something about "you shall worship the One God alone" or something...candidly, I think he was possessed. We gently led him out so we could worship the flag in peace."
The diocese was not available for comment, due to the holiday weekend.