Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Journalists Slip, Break Ankles on Lather Produced by Biden Pick

Hannibal, MO: The reporters making up The Hannibal Ledger had a collective fall last Saturday when Senator Barack Obama announced Senator Joe Biden as his running mate.

"At first we thought it was news, although not especially exciting news. Then it was released that Biden was a pro-choice Catholic, and we went a little crazy. I think the main problem occurred when someone shouted 'Hey! We get to do a Church watch on the whole Eucharist thing!' and we began to...well, it's embarrassing to admit...drool like lap dogs," said religion beat reporter Bradley Thomas, sporting crutches.

"That was the kicker," said Raina Lyndale, news editor. "Watching someone twist in the wind wondering whether this parish or that parish will deny him communion...it's that kind of moral drama that sells papers. If we're really lucky, we'll get bishops barking at each other on page one! It was then that the floor got so lathered, we all slipped and broke our ankles."

Apparently treatment was delayed after the prone reporters told other newspaper staff the good news, they danced for joy, and promptly broke their ankles as well.

The Obama-Biden campaign had no comment.

In related news, in this Sunday's Ledger: an in-depth investigation on faulty ankle braces in local hospitals.



Margaret Catherine said...

A subject (reception of the Eucharist, not broken ankles) that got dismissed in the WaPost as "wafer wars".

Deacon Greg Kandra said...

Margaret Catherine...

The term "wafer wars" was coined by none other than the Archbishop of Denver, Charles Chaput.

Deacon Greg Kandra