Tuesday, August 12, 2008

"The Lament of St. Espressus": a psalm for the modern man (Update! IC sings!)

From the house of Allen's Brain, with harp:

You are worthy of praise, O Lord our God,
Creator of the coffee bean.

You are like a good cup of coffee:
Your depths of wisdom are impenetrable,
Your ways are inscrutable, too dark to see into.
From you comes invigoration and inspiration;
How joyfully you are met first thing in the morning!

But alas, O my God,
For I cannot praise you as you deserve!
For someone has finished off the coffee,
And has not replaced what they took!

Early I rose, to come before you with joyful singing,
And found the canister empty.
Empty like the Wilderness of Zin,
Like the barren places by the Dead Sea.
Empty, it was, bereft of its usefulness,
Much like Bro Adelmo, who, I suspect, is the jerk who did this to me....

...Read the rest here.

P.s. Here's the version in Plainchant. Yep, that's me chanting. For you, Allen!


Allen's Brain said...

Wow! Am I humbled! (Am I? I'm not sure. My head has swollen to epic proportions.)

Any way that I can get this as an mp3 or wav or something?

Did you know that when the Hebrew cantors come to the Psalms, they chant the introductory headings as well as the psalm iself?

ironiccatholic said...

Allen, I have no idea about mp3 or that stuff. I would think you could save the recording...somehow...

I didn't know they chanted the introductory headings. I'm kind of a rube when it comes to the Hebrew Scriptures.

Personally, I think this would make a great YouTube video...eh eh eh eh....

Jaibee said...

Ah yes, the coffee is gone.

And Jesus no longer walks the earth in the same way as He did with the apostles.

However, we can still receive Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament, consecrated by our beloved priests.

And, while the coffee canister may be empty, we can still go to Starbucks and receive java from the wonderful baristas.

(Ducks and hides under football helmet now....) :)

EegahInc said...

That was... that was... that was pretty good actually :) Can you stop by and do the music at my parish some Sunday morning? I'll spring for the coffee.

Allen's Brain said...

Ah yes! The Blessed Sacrament of Starbucks & Biscotti!

"Though church scholars may debate on whether or not the Lord is truly and actually present in the elements, St Espressus found a measure of grace in the regular partaking thereof, and was struck by how many baristos in his parish wore clerical collars."

-Church History, vol II

Anonymous said...

Although I can hear the "Ave Marie" with the skating Monk I cannot hear the Lament. The button pushes and I see the bar moving, but no joyful noise.


The Ironic Catholic said...

Martin, you have to turn it way up...both on your computer and on the evoca control dealybop.

Julie said...

This is hilarious! And as a coffee drinker, Christian, and chant lover, I identify with it too, lol.

Allen's Brain said...

According to the evoca site, they convert your audio selection to mp3 before putting it into the flash player. If you asked somebody over there really nicely, they might be willing to provide you with the mp3.

Ray from MN said...

That is priceless, I.C.

As you may be aware, contrary to all expectations, I was not thrown out of the little chant group that was formed here in the "Cities" last year. We sing at the First Saturday Mass at St. Anthony of Padua in Mpls during the school months.

You should join us sometime. And we all could chant this as the recessional.