Tuesday, November 11, 2008

"Advice for the Non-Raptured"

Oh. My. Word:

Jesus will come for the
saints any day now...

Your odds of being among them are not good.

If you're like the authors of this site, you know that when Jesus returns and takes the saints with him during The Rapture, it's not likely you'll be among them. So where's that leave you? Well for starters, trying to get by back on earth during seven years of tribulation and the reign of the Anti-Christ. In the coming days, this site will be your guide to surviving and even thriving during this time of turmoil. You will get tips on everything from what stocks will boom while commerce is controlled by the anti-Christ to how to minimize inheritance tax on gifts left by raptured relatives.

Our site is just beginning to be constructed. We have an entire millenium ahead of us. Come back frequently and see what's new. Just because you're not with God that doesn't mean you can't live the good life.

(I sure hope this is a joke. It's a good one. Dcn. Scott, your home state seems effected unduly by the rapture, but I can't quite tell whether it's for good or ill.)

Check it out here.

p.s. Catholics don't believe in rapture theory. Just saying that before someone else does.
p.p.s. NaPraGoMo is the best investment you can make before the end times. (Cough cough)


CMinor said...

I wonder if this is where the "Prosperity Cross" people ended up?

Steve T. said...

That has got to be a joke, because it is incredibly funny. Thanks for pointing me that direction.

Panda Rosa said...

It's a joke, but there are many Christians who really beleive the Rapture is going to take place and soon. They're serious about all this, the being caught up and the tribulations.
I know because I was one for a time, still sometimes look up at the sky and wonder.

PraiseDivineMercy said...

We used to joke that it would be sure be interesting if the Protestants were right about the rapture, but only those in a state of grace, such as babies and practicing Catholics were taken. Think about it.

LarryD said...

Sounds like these guys are in direct competition with these guys: 'You've Been Left Behind'