Saturday, February 14, 2009

Saints Cyril and Methodius: "Still Waiting For Your Card"

Heaven: By definition, everything is good and right in heaven. But it doesn't mean that saints don't have feelings.

That's the message that has been leaked by Slavonic members of the heavenly chorus this February 14th: although they don't begrudge the honoring of Saint Valentine this day, the communion of saints think Cyril and Methodius would like a card or prayer or two.

"The thing is, we all know Valentine. And he's a great man, a martyr and a great saint. But you know, Cyril and Methodius were great evangelists who brought the liturgy to the Slavic peoples at great costs. Cyril even created the Cyrillic alphabet, for Pete's sake, and they promoted Mass in the vernacular about 1000 years before it was popular.  We all know they have received their reward, but they may like a fancy card too, don't you think?" said a saint who preferred to remain anonymous in order to give the glory to God alone.

Valentine himself offered some encouragement.  "I'm glad that some people use my feast day to celebrate the beauty of love, but everything points to Christ.  That IS the point.  So, really, my brothers Cyril and Methodius are wonderful inspirations to evangelization, ingenuity, and devotion to Jesus under persecution, persecution even by the Church.  I would be happy to give up the limelight of my name to further the cause of of true light, Christ, so maybe we should celebrate Cyril and Methodius next year.  Besides, it has come to my attention that some of those cards and gifts are not completely virtuous."

Saint Peter, when asked why more people didn't pray to Cyril and Methodius, offered "Well, I know the Slavs do.  And there's a surprising number of Methodists who weigh in to Methodius--although we suspect they are a bit confused.  But honestly, I do not know if many people actually pray to Valentine, asking for his intercession.  So really, any of us could use more work in that regard.  Except for Mary.  And Anthony.  Oh, and Jude."

Hallmark Inc., on repeated inquiries to create a card line celebrating the vernacular translation of the liturgy, in honor of Ss. Cyril and Methodius, refused comment.

--I.C. 


(I beg forgiveness for all the theological bending at the service of humor in this piece.)



4 comments:

Ray from MN said...

Thank you, I.C., for acknowledging the patron saints of my Slavic ancestors.

Minor "bending" correction: It is "Cyrillic alphabet", not "Cyrillic language."

Anonymous said...

I brought them flowers.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Ray--oops. Thanks!

Helen said...

Happy belated Cyril and Methodius day. If I send out cards for the occasion, must I learn a slavonic language first?