Friday, March 13, 2009

"Virtue Vineyards"

I hab a code. Plus I'm pregnant. Plus have had a few crappy days at school. Then I tried for too long to do some biting satire on Obama's ESTR decision, and realized it just isn't at all funny or's the equivalent of a bludgeoning despairing scream on my part. Not what I'm going for on this blog.

So I offer my friend Allen's Brain--who has done a marvelous satire piece on a new phenomenon, "Virtue Vineyards":

We have Scripture printed on t-shirts, bumper stickers, neckties, toys, and even candy wrappers (like the Testa-mints) but haven't you ever wished that it would go where it was REALLY needed?

We at Virtue Vineyards--the very first Christian Witness Winemakers--have heard your cry! We produce wines and spirits inspired by the Bible, with the sacred text printed right on the label!

Here are just a few of what Virtue Vineyards has to offer:

Sunday Go-To-Meetin' Cabernet - Incur the Lord's wrath with this fine vintage, inspired by Leviticus 10:9

Viper's Sting - Renowned for its lovely red color, this sparkling wine goes down smooth, but watch out for those hangovers! With its low price and the warning of Prov 20:1 & Prov 23:29-35 on the label, it may be just the thing for the burgeoning alcoholic in your life!

Cana Wedding Wine - You'll never run out of this celebratory wine, packaged in generously-portioned 20 gallon stone jars! And the price is nothing short of miraculous! Messiah-approved! (Jn 2:6-10)

Timothy's Olde Fashioned Medicinal Tonic - A little wine for your stomach. (1 Tim 5:23)

Naked Noah - It's almost shameful how good this wine is! Goes great with Ham! (Gen 9:20-24)

There's more here.  Thanks, Allen!


Intrepid Mother of the Front Pew Crew said...

Congratulation on the blessed news, IC!! I pray that all goes well with your pregnancy.

angelmeg said...

Sorry about the work problems, but great news about the baby, but sorry you are sick. This is beginning to sound like one of those silly jokes.

DMinor said...

In the life imitates art department, there is a vintner who puts scripture on his wine label.

CMinor said...

Don't feel bad, IC. There's not much we won't lampoon ourselves given the chance, but Obama's ESCR order kind of defies satire.

Sarah (JOT) said...

I'm excited and happy for you about your pregnancy. Hope you get over the cold quickly.

I've really enjoyed reading your blog.

Sarah (JOT)

Allen's Brain said...

I'm really, REALLY sorry about the "Ham" comment. That was truly horrible. I'm especially sorry that I can't stop giggling about it--even though it's Lent.