Tuesday, May 12, 2009

"How I Met Jesus Christ"

I saw this wonderful twist on a questionnaire on facebook from a Fr. Mark McKercher in Omaha. (That is, these are HIS answers.) Obviously, the questionnaire is one of those fb phenomena meant to glean information about how you met your spouse or romantic friend...and he takes the obvious (or not!) religious twist on it.  He kindly gave me permission to post it here.  Enjoy!


Instructions: How did you meet your the one who makes you smile? Answer all the questions HONESTLY and re post as "How I met ____"

1.) Where did you meet?
I suppose in the process of His creating me

2.) Who introduced you?
His Father

3.) What was the first thought that went through your head when you met?
Well, I was a little young to be having thoughts going through my head at the time

4.) Do you remember what he/she was wearing?
Oh, you know, the usual. . .long robe, sandles, stigmata. . . .

5.) Where was the first place you kissed this person?
Does First Communion count?

6.) How long did you know this person before you became a couple?
Dunno how exactly you're defining "couple," but I suppose it was at my Baptism. . .so it was when I was all of 2 weeks old

7.) How did he/she ask you out?
Fr. Patrick Nolan said, "I claim you for Christ our Savior by the sign of His Cross."

8.) Do you have kids with this person?
Well, how am I supposed to answer this one? I've baptized a lot of 'em. . . .

9.) Have you ever broken the law with this person?
That would be a NO!

10.) When was the first time you realized that you really liked this person?
Probably somewhere in the pre-kindergarten stage

11.) Do you get along with his/her family?
Most of 'em

12.) Do you trust this person?
Isn't that our national motto? 

13.) Do you see her/him as your partner in the future?
I sure hope so! 

14.) What is the best gift she/he gave you?
That crucifixion thing has to rank right up there. . . .

15.) How long have you been with this person?
Since January 14, 1968

16.) How well do you know your man or woman?
Nowhere near as well as He knows me

17.) What features attracted you to him first?
Being God helped a lot 

18.) Hair color?
Usually pictured as dark

19.) Does he/she let you wear their pants?
Well, I do wear robes for a living

20.) Do you have a shirt of hers/his that you sleep in?
Spiritually speaking, yes

21.) Does she/he make you happy?
Only if I let Him

22.) Does she/he have any piercings?
Some rather significant ones. . . .

23.) Does she/he have any scars that you know of?
Same answer 

24.) Is she/he Outgoing or Shy?
Both and neither

25.) Does she/he sing?
Yes, but only in Latin. . . .

26.) Do you like her/his friends?

27.) Does she/he have any tattoos?
Dunno that you could call them tattoos, exactly

28.) Does she/he look like their mom?
Oh my, yes. The resemblence is uncanny

29.) Do you like her/his sisters/brothers?
As in the "Whoever does the will of My Father in Heaven" thing?

30.) What is the most romantic date he has ever taken you on?
He's so far beyond romantic that it's scary. . . .

31.) Do you have any nicknames for each other?
Sure. . .He calls me Kerch and I call Him "Lord."

32.) Do you live with this person?
He's got the house right next door. . . .

33.) Do you have any pets together?
Not a one

34.) Where is this person?
Where ISN'T He?

35.) What is your anniversary date?
Which one? We have several

36.) When will you guys do something next?
In just a few minutes I'm heading over to church to pray to Him in the Blessed Sacrament. Will say a word or two to His Mother as well.


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Allen's Brain said...

Okay, I'll bite. "Kerch"?
Cute idea, IC.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Allen, it isn't me--that the name of the respondent.

No one has ever, ever called me Kerch, I must say. Most everything else works....

Janny said...

That was GREAT!


LarryD said...

You mean we can't call you the Ironic Kercholic?

PaperSmyth said...

I do not believe it. I know the priest who baptized this guy. How awesome.

PraiseDivineMercy said...

LOL. I'm considering religious life and go through this every time I'm sent one of these surveys. Father's answers are much more astute than mine though. I love his comment about "piercings."

Anonymous said...

I love it. :-)

Also wanted to give you a heads-up to this article, a statue of Jesus wearing jeans:

I figured you could have some fun with it, at the very least as a caption contest.

Mary Eileen said...

I know this priest! Fr. McKercher is hysterical and down to earth at the same time. He makes homemade bread to share at parish meetings, writes fabulous poetry and has been known to compete against protestant clergy in the annual "cow chip throwing contest." Th Church of Rome always prevails when it's his toss!!

MamaMidwife said...

My first trip to your blog. You. Crack. Me. Up.