Monday, June 15, 2009

Repeat #5: Why can't devout mothers mystically bilocate?

Found here under the series "Ponderous Questions"....

Retrieved from the circular files of the Vatican. This series started here.

To Whom It May Concern
St. Peter's Basilica
Vatican City

(Jelly stain here)

I have been reading about saints receiving the grace of bilocation: such as St. Anthony of Padua, Padre Pio, and more. While I have been inspired and impressed by such miracles, I would like the Church to explore why this grace hasn't been given more often to those who really need it: mothers. That's right, I know that the celibate life is a sacrifice and a grace, but it seems to me that this gift is kind of wasted on them. Now, I have five kids. In any given moment, I need to attend them all to make sure #1 isn't smearing fingerpaint into the carpet, #2 isn't trying to hardboil an egg in the microwave, #3 isn't arm-wrestling the cat again, #4 isn't rummaging the garbage for his latest snack, and #5 hasn't pulled off her diaper in an effort to "help go potty". If the Church could please advise how to pray for the grace of bilocation--or trilocation? quadlocation? quintlocation?--for discipline purposes, I would be eternally grateful.

I also think you would be creating a real niche in the parenting self-help book market: a title like Parent Like A Saint: Bilocate your way to well-behaved kids would sell like hotcakes in my parish.

Thanks for your consideration,
Harried Mom


Elizabeth said...

LOL. I like that idea.
I think Chesterton said..."If evolution is correct, why do mother's still only have two hands?"...

CT said...

LOL!!! fantastic idea! why didn't I think of it before??? LOL!
and LOL@Elizabeth, indeed, Chesterton had it right! lol!

Aussie Therese said...

I need to bilocate often too.

Ginkgo100 said...

I have two kids, but the hyperactive one often requires me to be in two places at once all by himself. He's that fast.

Oloryn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oloryn said...

A bit of Googling suggests that was Milton Berle, not Chesterton. Oh,well.