That means that my really great post idea is going to be served up more half-baked than usual . . . but with the confidence that many of you regular commenters will take the concept and run with it.
The genesis of this idea came from a weighty theological question posed by my nine-year-old son during our family catechesis: "Why did God come to earth two thousand years ago instead of now?" Normally I am stumped by these questions that kids think up, but I know the answer to this one: Clearly, God wanted to inspire the sacred authors before the advent of Twitter, lest the Bible be reduced to a series of 73 tweets of 140 characters each, to wit:
God gives humans a good deal. Humans screw it up. God lectures humans, bails them out. Again. Codependent? No, just covenantal.
Genesis (alternate version)
More dysfunctional families than 12 daytime talk shows, but God makes them into a great nation anyway. Eat your heart out, Dr. Phil!
After ten warnings, Pharaoh goes up against God AGAIN, gets a-- kicked. LOL. But Hebs whining "Are we there yet?" gets on even God's nerves.
Rats, geckos, and bats are officially off the menu, folks. Forget about that Kentucky Fried Bats franchise concept.
Going in! Wait, someone is here already. Let's walk around the city a few times.
Stuff happens, and only God knows why.
Sure, the Assyrians invaded your country and enslaved your people. But seeing their livestock in sackcloth will be the sweetest revenge.
Gospel of John
Jesus said, "The Father is in me, and I am in the Father; if you live in me, the Father lives in you, and--" Uh, we need an editor, stat!
OMG! No, this time it's for real. Time to think up new, more pious way to express surprise.
Yeah, I know you can do better. So Twitter away in the comments box, and let's reduce the Bible to 10,220 characters or less, 140 characters at a time! 'Cause you know, those Sunday readings do go kind of long sometimes....