Deuteronomy: "I fought the Law, and the Law won." Altogether now!
Jeremiah: Stop it, Judah! Stop it! STOP IT! (gnashing of teeth) Told you.
Hosea: Go-Go Gomer the Good Time Girl? G_d, have You lost it? Apparently, yes.
(Just got back from retreating. More later. Thanks for starting this, sic!)
p.s. kudos to my favorite reader-submitted one so far:
Roz: Psalms: You are wonderful, alleluia. I am scum, alleluia anyway. I'm in trouble, help me. You helped me and the wicked rot. Alleluia.