Tuesday, February 01, 2011

"My joke is easy...."

(Ok, the post title is lifted from Facebook, offered by another to Fr. James Martin for a book on laughter and holiness.  I love it.)

Bad theological jokes from all over the Christian tradition (and beyond) for your Wednesday.  Enjoy!

Q - What did the Calvinist say when he fell down the stairs?

A - Ughh! Sure glad I got that over with.

***

I visited The Church of Appliantology, founded by L. Ron Hoover.
It really sucked.

***

A Jehovah's Witness and a Unitarian Universalist started a new religion.
One day they knocked on my door.
But when I answered, they just stood there.
After a couple moments of silence, I queried, "Well, what do you want?"
"Oh, nothing in particular," they replied.

***

How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? Two...One to change the light bulb and one to cast out the spirit of darkness.

***

Q: Why did the apples in Noah's ark have no worm?

A: Because they all came in pears.

***

The Former mayor of Chicago Mr. Daley died and wound up in hell. Satan was tickled pink to finally have him. "Ok, Mr. Mayor," Satan said "time to pay the piper for your career." From that time on Satan submitted him to the hottest section of hell. Well time goes by and Satan decides to see how Daley was doing.

Imagine Satan's surprise and anger when he found Mayor Daley singing and happily going about things. He barked at Daley "WHY are you so happy?" To which Daley replied " I thought it would be torment down here. I am a Chicago politician this is a cake walk compared to that."

Satan storms away and his wheels start turning, what is he going to do? No one is to enjoy their time here. He gets an idea. In the section where Daley is Satan has the temperature changed to 1500 degrees below zero. As before he waits a little while and then he goes to check on Daley. Much to his shock and horror Daley is even happier than before. He is yelling cheers and singing and jumping up and down.

"What are you doing now?" yelled Satan.

Daley answers "The Cubs won the World Series!!!!"

***

Four engineers were talking theology. One said, God must be a mechanical engineer because He connected our bones and made them move by muscle action. Another engineer said God must be a chemical engineer because of the way He made us to convert food into energy. The next said God must be an electrical engineer because of how He made our brains send messages throughout the body. The last engineer said 'I think God is a civil engineer because He ran the waste pipes through the recreation area.'

***


How do you get a professional theological blogger off your porch?

Answer: Pay him for the pizza!
(Source)

4 comments:

Daniel said...

Absolutely loved the last one! Speaking of Charismatics, here's a few more:

http://the832site.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=48

Brian Sullivan said...

Hey! I've been looking for the engineers joke since I first heard it a few years ago. Thanks!

Panda Rosa said...

I love bad jokes!
Let's not forget the dyslexic agnostic who was wondering about the existence of Dog!

CMinor said...

And then there were those dyslexic devil worshipers who danced around a statue of Santa...