Sunday, September 25, 2011

USCCB: New Roman Missal The Solution To The Challenges of the "New Facebook"

Exclusive to the Ironic Catholic: a draft "talking points paper" leaked from an anonymous source in the USCCB offices.

  • Repentance: Post facebook changes, you want to beat your breast and mean it.
  • Understanding: Complex metaphor and sentence structure is less complicated in comparison to the new facebook.
  • Virtue: They both humble you. You cannot get through either without God.
  • Surprising changes: Helping the masses get used to change.... (But check to see who defects to Google + . This bears watching.)
  • News feed: Can refer to the homily as a "top news story".
  • "Dewfall" reference clarified: May dewfall fall on our computers and short out the new facebook.
  • Prayer: Can now be referred to as chat, or for the mystics in the congregation, instant messaging.
  • Refocusing on God: The Lord gives fb, the Lord takes away fb. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
It is unclear how the talking points were intended to be implemented, but in the margins was scribbled "homily helps" and Ezekiel 18:25-30.



Sunday is the last day for Cannonball Awards voting....the IC is in the Most Hifreakinlarious blog category.

1 comment:

Stephen Taylor said...

A minor theological point: the dewfall should not fall on our computers but on the Facebook servers. Through grace it will transform the dysfunctional to functional.

Also, I like that term dewfall. It has deep metaphorical and allegorical meaning. I think IC has had a dewfall of wit and wisdom, mixed with grace and irony. Keep it up sister woman!