Wednesday, August 22, 2012

10 things that ought to count for white martyrdom

The feast of St. John Vianney passed a few days ago, and I was reminded of his "white martyrdom" of the confessional, to the tune of hearing confessions 12 hours a day at times.  Trust me that I can imagine that is grueling--that kind of intensive listening, interaction, and being fully present for 12 hours without a break--no question, tough stuff.  BUT if we're going to extend white martyrdom to hearing confessions for a really long time without a break, I have a few suggestions for us other saints in training:

White martyrdom is:
  1. Sitting with your kids through the 10am $2 show of Alvin and the Chipmunks' Chipwrecked, because your 7 year old wanted it as her treat for the summer.  ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS, people.
  2. Six committee meetings in one day.  Must not be Dilbert, must be cheerful, constructive and fully present, even when the mini-lunch period is cut in half.  (Ahem.)
  3. Swimming in a lake registering at the upper 60 degree range.  Dear God (this is a prayer people, not taking his name in vain), I miss the South.
  4. Your kids, throwing up.  On you.  And you don't move away.  Nuff said.
  5. No one comments on your last caption contest.  (Oh, all right. I retract that.  Mostly.)
  6. Putting aside your desire for a new skirt so can afford your kids' school supply lists (I'm having a bad school supply list experience this year).
  7. Singing [insert hated liturgical song here] without eyerolling because you don't want to distract others from the liturgy.
  8. Figuring out how to use 38 summer squash before they spoil.  Yes, God's bounty and all, but I am beginning to wonder what God was thinking.  Pattypan squash breed like bunnies, are not nearly as tasty, and look like UFOs.
  9. Toilet-training.  See #4, related.  Honestly, bodily fluids and children=white martyrdom.  Expand as needed.
  10. Praying when it hurts.  Getting up the next day and starting over...again.
Add your possibilities in the comments.


SherryTex said...

My first thought is "Preach it sister!" May I add, Summer Math books, filling out financial aid forms for college and listening to politicians promise the world for pennies a day.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Oh man. Living through presidential election commercials! How could I have missed that???

August said...

Inadvertent humor alert.
White martyrdom can be read racially, and fits well with the 'first world problems' or 'stuff white people like' memes.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Yeah, I thought of that--for those who don't know, "white martyrdom" is a way of talking about death=dealing heroic virtue that doesn't involve the shedding of blood ("red martyrdom").

Jennifer said...

Lego Kits. The kind with 463 pieces that say "ages 6-12" on the box, but I'm 41 and the thing STILL falls apart every time I breathe near it.

Allen's Brain said...

Being an American Christian/ Catholic and living a devoted life without whining about our annoyances.

Having to endure snide comments like that from someone who doesn't have it nearly as bad--and is a bleeping Protestant besides!

ksam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kellyann said...

I believe that Allen's brain may be more pleasant if removed from it's prison. It gives new meaning to the phrase "hitting the glass ceiling".