Overheard Confessions of Christian Black Friday Shoppers

1. I felt bad for the store workers so I'm here as a measure of solidarity with the working man.
2. I'm waiting in line for the Les Miz movie.  It's got really Christian themes, you know.
3. My family wanted me out of the house and its too cold to take a walk.
4. I went to church first.
5. I like to think of this as a holiday of American togetherness, really.  At least until the Super Bowl.
6. I came to mock people buying wide screen TVs.  
7. I'm visiting my parents and they don't have wifi.  I haven't checked my email in 18 hours.  
8. Getting my stomach in knots because I can't afford anything on Black Friday really preps me for a holy advent.  It's like when monks sleep in their coffins.
9. My family can't make a mocha latte to save their lives. It's essential to a properly formed conscience.
10. I just came because I hoped to see a flash mob perform Handel's Messiah.