Friday, April 05, 2013

Earth Lent Begins For Enthusiasts Of Earth Day

Earth Day, April 22, is now preceded by "Earth Lent."

"For the Earth says, 'In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.' I tell you, now is the time of the Earth's favor, now is the day of salvation," intoned Michael Gaia, head of the Winston City Council Earth Day committee.  "Seek the Earth, while She may be found.  Call to Earth, while She is still near, and not destroyed by acid rain."

The committee announced this preparation for Earth Day as a way to promote the various celebrations that are planned in Winston City Park, and to explain why there are trees in the park draped in black.

"This is our time of repentance.  The ritual of tears will be held every Saturday evening at dusk, where we will poke each other with sharp sticks until we cry, delivering our tears to Mother Earth," said Gaia. 

When asked why they were advocating Earth Lent now, instead of the traditional six weeks beforehand,  Gaia said "Overpopulation has accelerated the earth's own time clock, and the end is nigh.  We don't have six weeks for Lent.  Actually, according to the Sierra Club, we may not have time for three.  All the more reason to press on, we say."

Earth Lent officially began this past Dirt Wednesday, when committee members rolled in compost.

Local churches were not available for comment.

I.C.

1 comment:

Panda Rosa said...

Someone is going to take this at face value, I fear.