Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Blogger Patents "My Personal Pope Francis Sieve"

Just ingest what you want and get rid of the inconveniences!
Minnesota, USA: A Catholic Blogger that goes by The Ironic Catholic has launched her latest get solvent quick scheme, inspired by the headlines of today: the Personalized Pope Francis Sieve.

"It's just making physical what most of the population is already doing," explained the IC.  "When you put something in a sieve, you are able to direct the food material into one direction of your choosing.  Plus you sift out the stuff you don't want.  We've been doing it for years!  St. Maria Goretti got forced through the purity sieve and no one heard about her heroic forgiveness.  Dorothy Day got forced through the social justice sieve but her rather traditional Catholic piety got sifted out.  But its been so immediate and obvious with the Holy Father, I decided to expose the reality and allow everyone to buy their own personal Pope Francis sieve to use and enjoy."

For the past few months, people have noted that the mainstream media has been very enamored of Francis, usually for one or two reasons, ignoring that he holds basic tenets of Catholic teaching that they tend to excoriate.  But random Catholics, too, have been treating Pope Francis through their own interests.  The man has been scrutinized with horror regarding liturgical innovation, upheld as one who is catechetically brilliant because he kissed a baby, a lover of high-density development by those who note he's not living in the Papal apartments.  One media personality has gone so far to say the easiest to understand, most plain-spoken Pope in decades should have handlers to theologically interpret what he says.  (No one has mentioned that perhaps Americans should learn a second language.)

The IC said the sieve idea was a natural.  "One day I was reading facebook and I realized my neck hurt.  After going to the doctor, she said it was a classic case of whiplash.  Since I've been in no car accident, I can only assume its half a year of reading facebook and encountering all these Francises.  Since I am pretty sure he is one person, the sieve idea came to me a cooling brace to wrap around my neck."

The sieve is available to be personalized with a picture of Pope Francis and your three favorite things about the Holy Father.  The sieve will be available at some Etsy store soon, and the IC aspires to make the Ship O' Fools gadgets for God list.


Inspired by Terry Nelson's great essay here.

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