Monday, August 18, 2014

"Boiling Bucket" Challenge Fails To Raise Funds For Mission Trip

Not quite boiling.
Barren, Minnesota:  Inspired by a viral charity challenge that involves achieving a monetary goal and ice buckets, the St. Bartholomew youth group issued a "boiling bucket of glop" challenge: donate or collect donations of $100 to their Fall mission trip to Appalachia, and one of the youth group members will get dunked with a boiling bucket of glop.  They earned $3.27.

Tom Wilder, the youth group leader, admitted he was not sure what went wrong.  "Clearly this idea has legs: just look at facebook these days," he said.  "We just tweaked it for northern Minnesota.  It would be like a warm shower on a cold day--and all our days are cold.  Of course we're not going to boil our youth group alive.  I guess some people didn't get that.  Good grief."

In the meantime, parents were outraged that their kids may be put in harms way for a fundraiser.  "What was wrong with the annual bake sale?" sputtered a mother who wished not to be identified.  "I already have 10 loaves of zucchini bread made.  I don't want my son home with second degree burns!  And who is going to eat my zucchini bread?"

Fr. Mark Thompson, the pastor, said that the idea for this fundraiser arose spontaneously from the kids, and "took on a life of its own before we could finesse it."  He also said that despite rumors, the "boiling glop" was not going to be liver stew.  "But it's moot, because we are having a bake sale, period.  No liver.  Nothing boiling.  Cooled off baked sugar things."

On the up side, according to Wilder, a nearby college fraternity has expressed interested in the structure of the fundraiser to combine raising funds for charity with freshman hazing.  He added that the boiling was a joke, and he was certain that, being college students, they "got that."

BREAKING NEWS: An anonymous donor promised to pay for the entirety of the mission trip if the group would stop doing any fundraisers for a year.  The parish has gratefully accepted.


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