The Wisconsin Advent Calendar

...says the woman who can see Wisconsin from her front yard.

And I remembered this happy photo three days late. I'll just have to have to make it up, I guess.

This n' that

• From Rocco Palmo's Twitter feed: RT @CatholicReview: St. Paul Church: "And also w you." Priest: "One more time." Church: "And also w your spirit." Priest: "One more time..."
  

(hee)

• Also, Bianca and family's IPad2 giveaway ends tomorrow November 30th. $10 to their adoption fund gets you a chance, and more money, more chances! Bianca's family is adopting Darren, a 2 year old with Down syndrome from Alex's old orphanage in Eastern Europe. Please help them out; international adoption is expensive!

• Finally, a few Catholic blogs attempting amusement have moved recently: so update your feeds. Acts of the Apostasy. The Crescat. Bad Catholic. (New Motto for The Ironic Catholic: Always here. Always attempting.)

• Don't forget the Amused Catholic EZine, collected humor pieces from the web. When I can't post, I can scoop. And I will be working on the serious book for the rest of the week, so expect no posting. Ciao, friends!
  

Free copies of "Felon Blames 1970s Church Architecture for Life of Sin" today!

Go download the ebook in any format for free at Smashwords, using this coupon: RA76D

No catch at all! But the coupon is only good today, Monday, November 28th.

Some people call it "Cyber-Monday". I'm calling it "recovery Monday". So go forth and read an amusing book.

Happy First Week of Advent!

...oh...right...and it's advent too?

And with your spirit, waiting pilgrims.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hard to beat Charlie Brown, but the pastor at the church we visited this morning (we're with relatives) did it with his homily. The reading for Thanksgiving Day in the USA is Mark 5, the healing of the Gerasene Demoniac. In particular, the reading is the last line of Jesus, responding to the former Demoniac who wanted to "thank" Jesus by joining his disciples: "go to the Decapolis and tell them what the Lord has done for you." The Decapolis was his home, not the tombs. The priest reminded us that today was about going to our friends and family, even if by phone, and sharing: I am so thankful this year, because this is what God has done for me. Sit, let's eat, let's share.

Have a great Thanksgiving! Back at it next week.

Pastoral Super Committee Fails

Belleton, IL: The St. John's pastoral evangelization and implementation committee, commonly called the "Pastoral Super Committee", failed to reach an agreement as to how to implement the Great Commission, and the project sits shelved until the next bishopric appointment.

"I don't believe it," mumbled long time parishioner Sheila Johnson, shaking her head after leaving mass this Sunday. "We put our faith and hope in these people."

"We knew Fr. Donahue had high standards going on--this whole 'in Christ there is not slave nor free, woman nor man, Jew nor gentile' thing--but creating a committee to come up with a plan to reach EVERYONE, made up of every constituency in our parish, seemed like tilting at windmills," said co-chair Cece Martinez. "We had Spanish speakers, Anglos, Republicans, Democrats, soccer moms, Opus Dei, Pax Christi, and more represented. And we decided this week: the Great Commission just can't be done."

"This doesn't mean that evangelizing through the parish doesn't work," insisted the other co-chair, Johan Jutland. "It just means...um...right...we've got to...oh, geez. I have no idea."

Fr. Donahue, when called for comment, was silent. Afterwards, he said "My main concern is that the Great Commission is not optional. It is the lifeblood of the Church. If they say it can't be done, then what does that say about the Church? or the trustworthiness of Jesus' words?" After more silence, he apologized, saying he needed to go pray now, and hung up.

At press time, there was a group of 25 teenagers quietly picketing the parish church, praying the rosary, holding "Occupy The Body of Christ" signs.

--IC

"Deck the Halls": new translation to be implemented on November 25th

New York City, NY: In an effort to get Christmas carols more in line with the original Latin, the much loved (or hated) "Fa la la la la, la la la la" line will now begin with a "Tra". The newly translated song will be sung in NYC stores starting Black Friday, 2011.

"'Tra' is closer to the Latin 'tract', which means pull. The line is supposed to 'pull you along' to the next sung article," explained Fr. Paul Moses, OP. "A misguided young lad in 17th century Britain changed the syllable to the more singable 'Fa'. But everyone then missed the intent of the word. With everyone singing 'Tra', I'm certain they'll get it now," explained the priest, who has a PhD in Classics and a MA in Liturgy.

When asked about the meaning of "la", Fr. Moses admitted the "la"s were just for fun. "Plus singing nine 'tra's is a real challenge. Lots of unintended spit," he admitted.

Macy's clerk Joanna Sundstrom, with other employees, plans to wear a large button that says "Fa!" in protest on Friday. From her website, SaveTheFa.com: "They can make me listen to it, but they can't make me sing it. They are taking away our happiness on the most difficult sales day of the year. As for my and my house, we will sing Fa, forever and ever, Amen!"

There are other changes to the Christmas song as well, significantly "Deck the Halls with offshoots of berries," but the Fa-Tra exchange seems to be the straw that broke the camel's dromedary's back.

--IC

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Two weekends ago:
As a family, we were reading and discussing the Sunday readings, including the iconic passage from Proverbs 31, on the virtues of a noble wife:

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

So after reading that, my husband begins: "So, kids, what we have here is the Bible's description of an ideal married woman: she is good, loving, works hard, gives to the poor, and is wise and thoughtful. Right? She is not"

and the 11 year old boy pipes up, "Mom?"

(For the record, I laughed out loud. AND I'm very forgiving too!)

Even More Things Catholics Don't Like To Admit

You've thought about calling someone a sedevacantist but you are torn between the sins of insider insulting and overweening pride of vocabulary.

***

(Actual funny stuff at The Amused Catholic Ezine....)

Would you like to win an IPad 2?

I have two "friends in adoption" running huge giveaways--they are each giving away an IPad 2 to one randomly chosen person who donates at least $10 to their respective adoption funds!

1. Bianca and family are adopting "Darren", who is 2 years old and has Down syndrome. He is in the same orphanage our Alex was in before he got transferred! Giveaway info here! They are taking donations for the giveaway until the end of November. You get extra chances for spreading the word, too.

2. Shelly and family are adopting Teagan and Kelten, who both have DS as well. They are in a very rough situation--Kelten is 12 years old and is about the size of a 3 yr old--and they are trying to get there as quickly as the paperwork can be filed. Shelly is the mom of the amazing family who adopted Tori, who you may remember me advocating for a year ago. (p.s. Tori, now named Reagan, is doing great!) Their giveaway info is here, and it ends the evening of November 20th.

If you donate to either cause, you also get an additional chance to win the IPad 2 if you post about the giveaway on your blog or facebook....







The cause is great, because these kids need families, and have no future in their home countries due to their culture's social stigma regarding DS. And let's be honest, the chances of winning the respective IPads is pretty high--we're talking about 1 in maybe 100 rather than 1 in a zillion. Imagine, Christmas shopping could be done! So please, help them out!

***

p.s. sic and I are blogging about our adoption, if you're interested, here.

Caption Contest #105

Thanks to Tom Stetz, who passed this along from the "If Charlie Parker was a gunslinger" blog.

Caption away in the midrash box.

UPDATE! We have a winner!
Tim: Free DJ with all cremations.

Friday's QOTD

If you are not tempted, you have no hope; if you are not tempted, it is because you are used to sinning.

--Abba Cyrun of Alexandria

More Things Catholics Don't Like To Admit

You're a little jealous of the Calvinist reformers, because you don't get to say "Zwingli" on a regular basis.

Zwingli! Zwingli! Zwingli!

***

(OK, since that wasn't a LOL post, I encourage you all to check out the collected Catholic humor and occasional art and thoughtfulness across the web--The Amused Catholic Ezine.) You can even suggest humorous sites and posts on the site, at the suggest button, because I can't spend all day reading. Enjoy!)

Further rejected book lines

From the latest rough draft writing of the serious book, in this section, discussing Gen 3:16-19:

There are three aspects taken from a casual reading of the passage: 1) God makes childbirth painful, 2) Eve and all women get cursed by God as a punishment for sin, and 3) Adam appears to get off way easy.

Geez, it's hard to be an uppity academic.

Things Catholics Don't Like to Admit

(a new series)

The reason you call St. Therese of the Child Jesus by her name in religion is because you have no clue how to pronounce "Lisieux".

Friday's QOTD extra

"The only text sent in this class would be to God, alerting him you'll be meeting him soon."

--Br. Stephen at my little Catholic university

Friday's QOTD

"Fundamentally, I don't think the Catholic church gets enough credit for being a hell of a lot of fun. There's great warmth and laughter in most Catholic circles, a rich intellectual tradition, a vast body of lore, an incredible range of characters, a deep desire to do good, an abiding faith against all odds, an ability to go anywhere and feel instantly at home, and even a deep love of good food, good drink, and good company. All that is part of the tapestry of Catholic life, but it rarely sees the light of day in commentary and reporting that focuses exclusively on crisis, scandal, and heartache."

--John Allen

(p.s. Thanks for the tip, Annmarie!)

The Old Spice Youth Minister

HT Aggie Catholics.

When I can't post, I can scoop.

Collected Catholic humorous and thoughtful reading material can now be found at A Musing Catholic's Amusement. I may not be the best arbiter of all things amusing, but I've thought that the web needed a "best humorous posts" ezine for a while--so let's try this out. You can follow through an RSS feed there (next to the description), or click on over as you wish.

If you want to suggest humorous or thoughtful posts to include, please go there and click the suggest button (no promises, but what do you have to lose?). Feel free to share the humorous news....

IC

A Theology of the Body poetry slam

Amazing. Funny (really funny at parts). But mostly moving to the core. Watch the whole thing--7 and a half minutes.

Found while working on the serious book (really)...it's at Hell Burns.

Truth Is Stranger #128: So much classier than having the rosary hanging from the rear view mirror

What you never realized you needed--the steering wheel rosary. For sale for just $45.

Complete with the "Forget sorrowful, I'm stuck in traffic hell mysteries".
(No...Joke!)

HT: Ship O'Fools.

Friday's QOTD

At least five times . . . with the Arian and the Albigensian, with the Humanist skeptic, after Voltaire and after Darwin, the Faith has to all appearance gone to the dogs. In each of these five cases it was the dog that died.

-- G.K. Chesterton, The Everlasting Man

A "Not Said By Jesus" Classic

The whole series is from Paul at Alive and Young.

Happy All Saints Day!

First, go to Mass. You know, it's a Holy Day of Awesome....

Then, think about buying a good book on the Saints. At Smashwords, buy it for 50% off on All Saints Day...only 99 cents for the ebook version! Use coupon MA97P .

Sigh. Ok, just go to Mass. The humility is good for me.

(p.s. But I learned that from a saint!)