Blessed Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God

...and Happy New Year 2012!

Truth Is Stranger #129: Let My Angora Goats Go! Or just get into the spirit of things and give birth already.

Animals must have their own interpretive takes on the perennial live nativities. But rarely are they so eloquently expressed....

First: a goat who thought he was signing up for the Exodus story.

FERGUS FALLS, Minn. (AP) — A goat that apparently didn't want to be part of a Minnesota Nativity scene has headed for greener pastures.

The 3-year-old Angora goat was supposed to have a supporting role at Bethlehem Church in Fergus Falls. Instead it escaped its leash Saturday afternoon....

More here on the lamb on the lam. (OK, it's a goat, but it should be lamb anyway.)


Second: "Uh Mom, what's that sheep doing?" "Hush, dear, sing Silent Night with us."

CINCINNATI (AP) — A lamb has been born unto a Cincinnati nativity display.

The Krohn Conservatory says that a night watchman oversaw the Christmas Eve delivery for a sheep that was part of the live-animal display. ....

More here. And at least they aren't naming the lamb "Jesus."

I Was Always A Little Jealous of Hannukah. Until Now.

And that's just the beginning of the...Hannukah Cake Wrecks.

And how has YOUR Christmas been?

We went to mass. Then: we wrapped, we ate, we unwrapped, we ate, we traveled, we ate, we visited, we ate, our car died, we drank, we fixed it, we ate, we came home.

Festive Octave of Christmas, everyone. Back at it.

Merry Christmas

Print of woodcut by Fritz Eichenberg, a prime artist of the Catholic Worker movement, 1954.

Dropping security blankets....

From Fr. James Martin via fb:

"Today on The Washington Post chat a reader mentioned something beautiful that I had never noticed: When Linus recites the story of the Nativity in 'A Charlie Brown Christmas,' he unexpectedly drops his security blanket. With the Word of God he has no need for any other security."

Spoken like a spiritual director, and Amen! On that note, I'll see you after Christmas (well, with a pre-set for Christmas Day). Blessed advent and blessed feast of the Incarnation, everyone.

Pre-Christmas Zinger

The couple, looking tired and overburdened from the many things they had to do to prepare for the holiday, scrambled onto the crowded elevator at the department store, trying (with only partial success) not to drop any of their packages. As the elevator door closed, the husband let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Whoever invented Christmas ought to be shot." From the back of the elevator, a quiet voice said, "Don't worry. We already crucified Him."

It was a mighty quiet ride down to the first floor.

(used with permission from Fr. Mark McKercher on facebook)

Scoop-a-rama

When too busy writing the serious tome to post, I still scoop others' interesting stuff. Feel free to read The Amused Catholic Ezine even when I'm a humor slacker...and suggest good posts/webpages to put on it.

The Apocalypse Approacheth #927: The Zombie Nativity

The apocalypse approacheth...or the Incarnation of Christ...whatever, eh?

Found here and sold (yes) here.

Snarky Christmas Card Berates Sending Family Pictures, Beginning Internet War

(The Johnson's family Christmas card, right)

New York, NY: The gasps in the home office quickly turned into an internet roar.

The Delilah and Bill Johnson family's Christmas card-- 4' x 6', gilt-edged, and glossy-- has on its front a picture of the Blessed Mother and baby Jesus.

What disturbed recipients was the 10 point bulleted section on the inside, titled "Why I am not sending you a picture of my family and you shouldn't either".

The points begin softly, noting "1. I just saw loads of your pictures on Picasa," "2. Little Joey is having a bad hair month" and "3. I never know when I can take your picture off my fridge and not feel guilty about it anymore, so I'm begging you to take my feelings into account."

But people began sputtering over some of the others: "6. In an age of self-glorification, I can do without saying I'm so obviously the reason for the season." "8. Look at an icon, for crying out loud. It's a freaking RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY" and "10. Joy to the World! The Lord Has Come! Wait, where's Jesus? Oh right, I CAN'T SEE HIM BECAUSE I'M FLOODED WITH PHOTOSHOPPED CHRISTMAS PICTURES OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS DRESSED IN MATCHING RED AND GREEN SWEATERS!"

The Johnsons' second cousin, Miranda Twatterchit, posted the card as a photo on facebook and noted "it's soooo rude. I've got Jesus in my heart but my little sweetie pie is only three once. Deal with the cuteness, people. You're just jealous."

Within three hours, the photo was "shared" 13,549 times by similarly outraged Christmas family pictures aficionados. The Johnsons shut down their facebook account after getting over 2,000 family pictures posted on their facebook wall.

"It's crazy," said Delilah Johnson, who admitted her family never got her sense of humor. "I'm just asking people to send cards that are about Christmas. I'm at the point where I'll settle for winter and chilly looking cardinals in the snow. But about Christmas itself would be great. I mean, did the shepherds send a card with their posed grinning faces to the infant Son of God? I don't think so. I hope they said 'Happy Birthday"--or maybe 'thank you!'"

Although Delilah admitted there was no going back from that card all other the internet, her husband Bill Johnson explained the family now has an outgoing message on their answering service that apologizes for any misunderstandings that have come from the "cheeky but reverent" card. "We just want you all to know that we love you and like seeing your faces, in person and in photos. Next year, we'll chisel our Christmas greetings into small rocks, which you can use to throw through our windows. Thank you, and Merry Christmas, everyone!"

--IC

p.s. yes, I send family pictures.
p.p.s. yes, I enjoy seeing pictures of family and friends.
p.p.p.s. yes, I'm going to catch heck at the next family gatherings for this post. It's called "low hanging fruit" people....

The Beginning of Catholic Love of Basketball....

Photo credit here.

Calling all birth stories!

Hello all. Susan, the writer of the serious book, poking my head into this blog of occasional amusement.

A large section of this Theology of the Body, Extended book is on seeing the act and experience of childbirth as a spiritual sign. I need birth stories! If you have any written up (on a blog or just at home), I would love to read it and possibly use it in the book. I would be willing to put it in the book by first name or under anonymous, if it is a little explicit for your comfort; just MENTION THAT at the top of the story.

I'm especially interested if people have written stories that have a spiritual bent to them--even if the story is along the lines of "this experience was not a felt spiritual event for me." (p.s. I"d like to know why, if you don't mind!) I am focusing on natural childbirth, especially Bradley Method, but am open to stories where the birth was more "medically enhanced"....

Stories can be sent to my email at ironiccatholic at yahoo dot com, and please put in the subject line "Birth story".

Thanks in advance!

Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception

Leonardo. Virgin and Child with St Anne. c.1498

Remember it's a Holy Day of Awesome!

***

p.s. Simcha Fisher, awesome humor blogger at I Have to Sit Down and National Catholic Register, just had a baby girl this morning! Mazel tov!

It's hard for a Church to stay on message....

You are welcome here, except trespassers will be prosecuted. Got it? Good.

A Wednesday Joke

A Catholic priest is enjoying breakfast with his friend, a Rabbi. The priest is enjoying some great smoked bacon.

The priest says to the rabbi, “When are you going to break down and try some of this bacon? It is great! Why would God make something so good and not want you to enjoy it?”

The rabbi smiled and said, “On your wedding day, Father.”

***

(OK, I felt guilty, but I did laugh at that.)

Patheos is collecting religious jokes! See them all here.

Yet more rejected book lines

Talking about the Theology of the Body to a Thomist philosopher is like asking a mechanic to bake a souffle. Both have a science to them, but different skill sets.


p.s. if this is seen by my Thomist philosopher friend, no offense intended at all. It was a great conversation!

Understanding Christian Art: There's an app for that

(Question: Is this a group of people at a Renaissance Faire playing poker, or a deep piece of Christian art? Flummoxed?)

...Here she comes to save the day! An art interpretation app created by my cool friend Eileen!

Eileen has a doctorate in Religious Education and Art; she knoweth her stuff. She's created an app for IPhone and Android which will be the best thing you can do for yourself after you use IConfess. It's called art/y/fact.Xn . The blurb:

art/y/fact.Xn is a tool for interpreting and meditating with Christian art. What is the difference between one painting of the Crucifixion and another? Users will be able to figure this out for themselves with the aid of this app. Christian artworks are found in museums, churches, books, magazines and web sites but often users are at a loss to understand the rich meanings of these works. The app offers interpretive tools for artworks about Jesus, Mary, other figures and stories from the Bible, Saints, Angels and Demons. The 100+ articles about themes common in Christian art include Basic Info, a list of What to Look For, and questions that guide General, Personal, and Historical Interpretations of the artworks. In addition, the app provides tools from the worlds of art, history, and theology to help the user dig deeper into the meaning of an artwork. Because a user sometimes wants an inner experience of Christian art, the app also contains six audio meditations. The user selects an artwork to meditate with, plugs in their ear buds, and chooses a meditation that connects to their experience of the artwork chosen. The app is for Christians and anyone else who wants a richer experience of Medieval, Renaissance, and Baroque art, or the Christian art of any other period.

Listen, I know Eileen and have heard her present on this many times...this will be fantastic. I urge you to give it a try; I'd review it if I actually had a smart phone (how very luddite of me, I know). Be the first of your friends on the block to have this; it's only $1.99.

Android version.
ITunes version.

Finally, A Christian Who Takes Bad Hair Days Seriously

p.s. Yes, I realize it ought to say "salon" but it they are invoking God's mercy for a haircut, I may want a stiff drink to go with that.

My Existential December Haiku

Wet snow tumbles thick
Flocking, mocking my Fall coat
Die, winter slush, die

(deep bow)

Eat your heart out, Korrektiv.

Inspired by this happy find. And the slush in Minnesota today.