Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Why Jesus Wouldn't Have Been A Blogger

Oh, don't get your panties in a wad, okay folks?  St Paul would have been a blogger (Man, think of those comboxes).  St Francis de Sales would have been a blogger.  St. Maximilian Kolbe would have been a blogger.  Not bad company at all, but Jesus would have stuck to "God's pedagogy," parables.  After all, think about it....the reasons why Jesus wouldn't have been a blogger (beyond a lack of computers and internet):

  1. Kitties.  Tragically, there are no kitties in the gospel.  If only Jesus had said "Let the little kitties come to me."
  2. The Pharisees were all in a dither about whether this was work or leisure, and Jesus would have decided not to invite unnecessary trouble.
  3. Blogs are not conducive to living a "hidden life" for 30 years, and during his ministry, traveling ancient Israel surely wouldn't have yielded wifi.  I mean, they barely had roads.
  4. "The son of man has no place to rest his head," and the disciples were told to carry nothing for the journey.  Including smart phones.
  5. Mary was never tempted to do a mommy blog, as further evidence of her humility.  Jesus followed her saintly example.
  6. The Roman Empire was a little like Ch*na.  Internet would have been closed circuit.  Better to circumvent that authoritarian control by actually, like, talking to people face to face.
  7. Wanted to avoid the debates on Flickr as to whether his daily life pictures were that amazing or photoshopped.
  8. HeyItsEmmanuel.org, YourGodIsRightHere.org, and Iamthemessiah.org were already taken as URLs, and John Mark talked him into being a little more low key, so the people encountering him could make the decision as to whether he was indeed God or not.
  9. Knew he would be tempted to go all "lightning bolt" on the combox squabbles..
  10. Memes.  Nuff said

I rest my case.

UPDATE: The Curt Jester adds reasons of his own, all excellent.  Hats off!


Fran said...


Sophia's Favorite said...

I have two counter arguments:
1. "I keep on sending you people prophets and wise men", in the middle of another conversation, is the epitome of a random post in the middle of another series of posts.

2. He was writing in the dirt when the woman caught in adultery was brought before him. Is blogging really that different?

The Ironic Catholic said...