Thursday, February 07, 2013

T-7 Days and Counting: Finding the Loophole for a Lenten Valentine's Day

Houston, TX: St. Hugh of Hungary Catholic Church's evangelization committee has run into "a huge stumbling block" to the New Evangelization: Valentine's Day in Lent.

"This is a stumbling block to the faithful and we need to be on top of this, to find out what can be done to avoid sacrifice during Lent.  There is such a thing as too much of a good thing," announced Mark Thomas, the chair of the committee.

The committee's agenda for Wednesday night, Feb. 6th, states: "New business: open forum to brainstorm ways to give up chocolate for Lent and yet eat it on Valentine's Day."

"People expressed concerns through facebook, that this Valentines during Lent was terribly inconvenient," noted Beth Klugman, "and pointed out that sometimes St Patrick's Day gets a pass when it lands on a Friday during Lent, so faithful Irish-American people can eat their corned beef.  We thought it was prudent to explore options."

The minutes of the meeting came up with various scenarios:
  1. Give up something other than chocolate, like bacon.
  2. Give and receive chocolate, but eat it on the Lord's Day (Sunday).
  3. Give and receive chocolate, but freeze it and eat on Easter Sunday (personal fasts completed).
  4. Celebrate Valentine's Day (in a secular manner) on Fat Tuesday.
  5. Give and receive carob.
  6. Convince your significant other than vanilla is the penitential language of love.
The pastor of St. Hugh's, Fr. Robert Samson, said he would address the matter through his homily on Ash Wednesday, suggesting that the language of love may be best addressed through getting crucified for humanity.  Short of that, "just fast already."

Thomas noted that the search for loopholes is ongoing.



cminor said...

My birthday and a local nature park's annual Chocolate Festival fundraiser always fall during Lent.

Just grit your teeth; it will pass.

Kim Luisi said...

What's worse than Valentine's Day in Lent? A birthday on Ash Wednesday! Can someone find me a loophole? And quick?

Panda Rosa said...

How about giving baking chocolate? It tastes horrible, it's so bad that eating the stuff is more like doing penance.

Karee Santos said...

We celebrate Valentine's Day as a family, not a couple, by taking our six kids ice-skating on the weekend before or after. What do we need with more chocolate anyway?

Allison said...

I wrote a much less funny post about the quandary here...