Colbert, gone. Mary is My Homegirl, gone. Maranatha already!

It's true: you probably heard about Stephen Colbert closing down shop at the Colbert Report to host Late Night. The end of an era, people. Busted Halo put up a few remembrances here (sniff--grab a hanky--and oh yeah, language alert);

Colbert's Top Ten Catholic Moments

Here's a clean one here :)

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,The Colbert Report on Facebook,Video Archive

And then--AND THEN--the tumbler blog "Mary Is My Homegirl," a blog dedicated to "Coping with the terrible life choice of studying Catholic theology in graduate school," said I'm done.  Blogging, that is.  I think she is still in grad school.  Daggonit, she made me almost like Tumblr and animated gifs.  Or at least, I loved the way she used them.

I'll warn you this is insider theology school humor, but man.  Good stuff.

Like here...
and here...
and here...
and here...
and here.

A moment of silence, IC readers.  It's a humorless day in the darkest, coldest week of the year.  It makes a Catholic humor fan want to go



Yeah, Maranatha, people. We're done here.

Your PSA for the summer: "How To Avoid Getting Tricked Into Volunteering for VBS"

"If someone with glitter on their clothes approaches, do not make eye contact."

Words to live by.
Read the rest.

"After 26 Weeks Of Anticipation, 27th Sunday In Ordinary Time Just Around Corner"

From the ever humorous The Eye of the Tiber:

The Christian West––After 26 weeks of eager anticipation, it was reported today that hundreds of millions of Catholics from across the Christian West began preparations for this week’s long-awaited celebration of the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. “Really, outside of Christmas and Easter…and the feasts of the Assumption, Ascension, All Saint’s Day, Immaculate Conception, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, and Good Friday, there’s really not a more exciting Sunday for a Catholic,” creator of the popular Catholicism series, Father Robert Barron, told EOTT. “Well, then you have the Sundays in the Christmas and Easter Season, and the minor feast days, but after that, it’s all about the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. Sorry, I forgot about Holy Saturday, Divine Mercy Sunday, Trinity Sunday, Pentecost Sunday…” Barron went on to announce that he planned on producing a new 12-part DVD series about the 27th week in Ordinary Time titled Ordinary. At press time, leaders of the militant group Al-Shabaab said that they would cease all attacks on Christian groups in the Middle East and elsewhere out of respect for “Christians around the world who hold dear, the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time.”

More of this excellent jest here.

"The Gospel According to Melvin" continues

Allen of It Came From Allen's Brain has again unearthed a pericope from the (undoubtedly apocryphal) Gospel According to Melvin....

... Now Jesus did, on many occasions, eat with tax collectors, prostitutes, and other unsavory characters. So the Pharisees and scribes muttered to themselves, "Isn't it truly said, 'A leopard is known by his stripes, and a man by his actions'?"*
And Jesus defended himself, saying, "Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep."

And James said to him, "But we're fishermen! What would we do with sheep?"
And Andrew said, likewise, "Can you imagine taking them out on the boat? They'd probably get tangled up in the nets!"
"Yeah," said John. "And they'd probably get seasick! We'd be cleaning sheep spew out of the boats for weeks!"

But Matthew said, "Not ALL of us are fishermen, you know."

"I know," said Peter, "But did you ever hear Jesus say, Follow me and I'll make you TAXERS of men? I don't think so. And he SURELY never said, I will make you SHEEPERS of men!" And they all laughed. "I can just imagine that!" he continued, "Hey Pete, feed my sheep!"

Then Philip, who'd only been half listening, spoke up. "Wait a minute guys. Lord, did you say 'a hundred sheep' or 'a hungry sheep'?"

"I really wasn't talking to you this time, fellas," Jesus said, though by this time the Pharisees and scribes had lost interest and were discussing among themselves whether it was a sin to shove a Gentile's ox into a ditch on the Sabbath, if simply going around him meant you had to brush up against a Samaritan who was helping a wounded traveler." Jesus cleared his throat loudly and tried again. ...

Go Thou And Read It All.

This excellent theology student site makes me almost like Tumblr

Mary is my Homegirl.  Oh my word, it's funny.  Mind you, you may have to be (or have been) a theology grad student to get the nuances, but check it out, really.

My favorite recent post, where the author clearly was in my head years ago in grad school, is here.

Second favorite, where the author was clearly in my basement study carrel, here.

Anyway, she's writing papers, and I am grading them till my eyes bleed.  Blogging will be light for a couple of weeks.  Here I go, folks...see ya when the snow melts....

(click pic to click through)

"Coffee as a Means of Grace: a sip of theological humor"

From our Evangelical brother Michael Svigel: a faux academic paper on the role of coffee in the life of believers:
 
....

Positive Spiritual Effects Of Coffee

This section will examine some of the spiritual effects of drinking coffee. Many more could be added, but the following will demonstrate that not only is the doctrine of coffee as a means of grace biblical, it is also historical and practical.

Drinking Coffee Prepares the Flesh for Suffering. According to the New Testament, suffering is an honor, a virtue, and a means of sanctification. We are to endure it with joy. Drinking coffee helps our sinful flesh to prepare for joyful suffering. It upsets the stomach and has a diarrheic effect on the digestive system. It can irritate ulcers and causes a jittery nervousness. Withdrawal from long coffee binges causes dreadful headaches that no amount of medication can relieve. Besides this, any honest coffee drinker will admit that coffee is a horrid beverage. If the brew is too weak, it tastes like dirty water; if it is too strong, it tastes like motor oil. To temper the inherent and unavoidable nastiness, one must add cream, milk, sugar, blue stuff, pink stuff, clumps, lumps, drops, syrups, froth, or foam. The whole ordeal can cause mental or emotional anguish to the indecisive and possibly separation anxiety when a failed mix of coffee and condiments must be poured down the drain.

In short, coffee drinking is suffering.

However, it is also joy. It stimulates the body and the mind. It acts as an anti-depressant and creates a bond of fellowship and community among consumers. A hot, steamy cup warms the heart on a frosty day; a cold, icy glass cools the soul when it’s hot. It wakes us up and keeps us alert. It gives us something to hold firmly in our hands and sip soothingly with our lips for peace and security in uncomfortable and stressful times.

Drinking Coffee Prepares the Body for Prayer. We are told to pray without ceasing; to offer up prayers of every kind to God. However, there is always an obstacle that seems to separate us from true, heart-felt prayer to God: the weak flesh. On the night he was betrayed, our Lord instructed his disciples to be alert and to pray, lest they fall into temptation (Matt 26:40-45; Luke 22:45-46). Unfortunately, on three occasions he returned to find his disciples asleep!

Until I accepted coffee as a means of grace, I struggled both internally and externally with the entire concept of waking up early in the morning to seek the Lord in prayer. Internally, I could never believe the tales of people who said they woke up at 4:00 a.m. and prayed for hours. I thought, “How could anybody get up that early and then stay awake that long?!” Externally, whenever I attempted to follow this model, I ended up asleep using my folded hands as a pillow. No, certainly there had to be an answer to this difficult question.

When one factors in coffee as a means of waking up the believer and then keeping him or her alert, all of the practical problems with rising early and seeking the Lord are solved. Coffee has a very positive effect on the prayer life of the believer. In some cases, it is indispensable.....

More here.

I want to go to this VBS

I'll give up my aversion to skits to see this slightly Monty Python-esque version of the book of Esther.

Want a funny book? Mercury Rises Released and (Sort of) Reviewed!

I know, I know, hard to believe I'm not hawking my own!

Friend o' the blog, Rob Kroese, publishes today his sequel to Mercury Falls, named...Mercury Rises. (On the cover: "The most highly anticipated sequel to Mercury Falls ever written!" Hee.) So glad Mercury has an angelic bungee cord... this was too much fun to leave be with only one story.

I received a proof copy a few weeks ago and my husband--yes, my professional writer husband--picked it up and has not let me look at it. He has declared it "better than the first." Now I really liked the first, so I await time to read it with bated breath. (See, I'm under a serious deadline to finish writing MY book--not funny, it's an academic tome--and a serious deadline in my heart to get Alex out of his institution and into our home as our son. AKA I'm swamped.) Rob is a talented guy and this is worth your $2.99 on Kindle, I'm sure. There's a paper version too.

So go forth and read!

I hear Fr. Jim Martin has a humor book just released too. I haven't read it (hey! see my life, above), but although I'm sure it is enjoyable, thoughtful, and a great read, I'll place my bets that Mercury Rises is a bit edgier. And that the two authors may enjoy each other's company for lunch. (And I wanna be there, you two.)

***

The Big Whopping Bleg for Alex (plus cool giveaway) continues, until Friday. Thanks for your prayers and support.

"10 Catholic Signs It Is Hot, HOt, HOT Outside"

From Paul at Alive and Young:

• You understand the meaning of "Psalms 32:4 For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer"
• The Nuns are baking the communion wafers/hosts on the dash of their parked car.
• At the sign of peace, no one touches; instead, everyone waves quickly in attempts to create a breeze in the church.
• You repeat the line from Matthew 20 "Borne the burden and heat of the day" over and over again as a sign of repentance.

Click here to read the rest. You laugh or you sweat, as they say.

Spiritual Insight of the Day

...from the excellent Pithless Thoughts.

The new LOL

OK, I laughed. (Out loud!)

"God's Blog"

Hat tip to The Deacon's Bench for finding this gem. Apparently, "then he rested" meant blogging.

God's blog post after creating the universe. --Complete with comments (warning: language)

Ironic Rules of Discipleship

Heh heh. I like this.

Part of the What Jesus Would Never Ever Say series at Alive and Young.

Funny stuff elsewhere edition

LarryD muses on purgatorial penances for some well known Catholic bloggers...

Jeff Miller picks up the ball and adds quite a few more (including moi)...
(BTW, since I'm not in purgatory yet: Kierkegaard! Socrates! Not Alanis Morrisette!!!)

and The Crescat reminds us why Southern Catholics rock the odd, courtesy Southern Fried Catholicism.

"How Being Southern Made Me A Better Catholic"

Fr. Christian Mathis asked me to write a post for his lovely blog, Blessed is the Kingdom, and I happily accepted (before the craziness of grad teaching started!). My mostly serious post for him is up: How Being Southern Made Me a Better Catholic. Go and visit his site; there is consistently thoughtful and reflective material there, although I make no claims for my own contribution.

Plus he's in eastern Tennessee, and you can't beat that....

Bloggy friend publishes a book!

Julie at Happy Catholic has published a book!: Happy Catholic: Glimpses of God in everyday life.

The blurb:

Why did it take me so long to see the truth that floods through everyday life? -- from the Introduction.



As she does in her blog, Happy Catholic, Julie Davis taps into quotes ranging from The Simpsons to John Paul II, Battlestar Galactica to Scripture and The Princess Bride and discovers all around her glimpses of God. Her reflections on pithy quotes (Trashing your hotel room is easy, but being a Christian--that's rebellion. -- Alice Cooper) draw back the veil, letting us connect with God in unexpected ways. Intriguing to both Christians and non-Christians alike, this book is also an unexpected source for daily prayer.

Long time readers know I enjoy many of Julie's insights, light touch, and appreciation of humor in the Catholic life, so I'm thrilled for her and looking forward to reading it (when I buy it later this week!).

You can preorder it now, and get a signed copy at her website.

These are a few of my favorite blogs

(Sorry if you're going to be singing that Sound of Music song all day now.)

Beware the ides of March--
Go Catholic media visiting instead! Today is Catholic Media Promotion Day!


How to play:

On March 15, everyone with a blog, podcast, or Facebook page should list their favorite 3 blogs, 3 podcasts, 3 other media, 3 random Catholic things online, and their own projects.

Then post the link to the list here on March 15th. Additionally, to help get the word out, press are asked to write articles and press releases for this day.

Lastly, on March 15th, go to iTunes and leave at least 3 positive written reviews for various Catholic podcasts and 3 positive written reviews for Catholic mobile applications.

*****

As for me--well, I'm really more into the blogs than anything else. But right now, I'm enjoying the newly rebooted Korrektiv (bad Catholics, blogging at a time near the end of the world), The Deacons' Bench (good portal to all news Catholic, even better at Patheos), and (God help me) the random observances on life and art at The Crescat. I like a bunch more too, but the rules do say three!

Random Catholic thing online: uh, I can schlep my book Dear Communion of Saints here, right?
And Sacred Space -- which leads you daily through lectio divina, with an Ignatian influence-- is awesome.

I don't do ITunes and apps, but I fully support my friend Eileen's prospective app on interpreting Christian art in museums all over the world.

Happy visiting!

Michaelangelo? There's...NOT an app for that....

• Love art?
• Love theology?
• Love apps?

Then you may want to help my friend Eileen create this app for instant interpretative help for Christian art in museums all over the world.  Eileen teaches theology at Loyola in Chicago--she is incredibly talented and knows what she is talking about (both in art interpretation and theology), and a born teacher.  She's looking for crowd-sourcing funding.  So I ask you--check out her pitch video and stick with it until the end (five minutes?)--and prepare to be impressed.

Spread the word to religious art lovers you know!  Thanks!

Catholic blogger and poet read on The Writer's Almanac

Just too awesome for words. Jonathan Potter, one of the regulars at Korrektiv, just had one of his recently published poems read by Garrison Keillor on The Writer's Almanac. Read/hear it here, and congrats, Jonathan!

Korrektiv has a new address

Korrektiv: bad Catholics blogging at the end of the world

they have a new hairdo and url
w' nuff irony to make toes curl
Yes, its PG 13
so be careful 'round tweens
but otherwise, give it a whirl

(Go there for the good poetry and social commentary.)